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I'm lonely, stressed, overwhelmed, and confused


#1

The other day I got kicked out of my house for the night by my dad. My mom ended up picking me up for the night and I stayed at her place for the evening. My dad initially was like “i dont want you home when im home” so i was out when he was home but today he was like “im fine with you being here”… Choose a fucking side, pops! I can’t read minds and I can’t have you changing your mind all of the time. He’s pretty much fine with me moving out at this point and that is plenty fine by me but I don’t have the finances to support myself.
I don’t understand what his problem is at this point. It’s impacting my mental health to the point where im losing sleep and too stressed to eat. Since the day he pseudo kicked me out we have shared about 30 words many of them me telling him to stop talking to me. He completely destroyed our relationship and if he wants to rebuild it he can come and apologize for what he did and said because I bust my ass in this house and the fact he thinks that it’s ok for him to say I do nothing and the fact that he has the audacity to say that he does all the work in the house when im spending more time than everyone else in the family combined on the house he can go fuck himself.
I’m not usually an angry person but this is bullshit. I’m 17, I have no time to work on my GED, my hobbies, my own room, and I hardly have time to sleep if I want to have fun. I’m sitting here having just had an energy drink at 10pm so I can stay up and play games and produce music so I can do stuff i enjoy.
It’s such a fucked up situation and I feel so alone and I can’t understand what he wants because it changes all of the time. I don’t know if hes lying or what but its not like he’s under the influence of anything so I can’t really don’t understand.
I need to get out of here but I have no where to go. Someone please help me from this hell, Middream_LA (if you’re from twitch you’ve probably heard of them, if not then they’re a musician couple who are my best friends) sent me a text with a good piece of advice “Remember, this could also be the best thing that’s ever happened to you, depending on how you handle yourself” but some how it just keeps on getting worse.
I can’t keep on doing this. I’m so overwhelmed and stressed, I hardly have the time to do anything. I don’t get why I don’t just end it all, he wouldn’t care at all and I don’t matter to anyone in my family so if anything i’d be doing them a favor.
I just cant keep doing this anymore.


#2

Hey Ethan

First I want to say that I love you and that I see you. I know that we haven’t talked in a while but that doesn’t mean that I don’t care about you. You are an amazing person who deserves to be loved and deserves support, and I hope you know that friend. I’m glad that you reached out.

I am sorry that you are having troubles with your dad right now. The way he is treating you is not okay; and I and I think everyone would agree that you do not deserve the treatment that you have received from him and I really am sorry that he is being shitty to you.

Now I guess my first “advice” would be is to try and sit down and talk to him when you guys have both had time to think and work through things on your own. Now from what you’ve said this could possibly not be the best option, and you may not have good results but I do think it wouldn’t be a bad place to start. I would just sit down and tell him how you are feeling. And just ask him what he expects from you. And be ready to call him out for unrealistic expectations.

I’m sorry that he is playing with your emotions rn. And from an outsiders perspective right now that’s all he’s doing. By kicking you out and then letting you back, but still pretty much acting like you don’t thats not okay, and once again that’s not something you deserve.

Next, I would ask you to consider if it’s possible to move in with your mom. I don’t know if that’s an option or a healthy option, but even if it’s something you can do temporarily until you can find a better living situation, or excuse my language until your dad gets his head out of his ass. Sometimes it takes someone not being around for awhile to see how much they do for you, and unfortunately it seems like that may be the only way for your dad to have that wake up call and realize.

At the end of the day, you saying that it’s effecting your mental health, and effecting your ability to do things that you want to do, you must do something to keep yourself afloat even if you’re not swimming.

I’m not in your shoes, so I don’t know what exactly is best for you. But I would definitely begin to weigh your pros and cons and figure out what is best for you. Remember that you are loved, your life matters, and you deserve respect to.

Hold Fast, You’re Worth It,
Monkey

P.s. ~ Also remember you know how to get ahold of me if you want to talk, or just game to get your mind off things. Love you brother.


#3

I’m sorry Ethan. Sounds like you and your dad have a rough relationship.

Is it at all possible to stay with your mom instead? I don’t know a lot about your situation or your relationships with your parents. But I know you are still young. Is there a healthier place for you to be till you can figure things out? A grandparent? Aunt/uncle?

I hope things get better for you friend. I’m glad your dad at least let you come back home.

My mom used to kick me out when I was a teen and then would call the police and turn me in as a run away. I had to go stay in this place for run away teens. They had alarms on all of the doors and windows. You had a thin mattress that was hard and shitty ass blankets that felt awful. The room was tile and bare with a single desk melded to the wall. It felt like a prison. They put me in a foster home for a week or so. To make it worse they put me in a Spanish speaking home because I had dark skin and they assumed I spoke Spanish. Which I didn’t. It felt awful.

I hope you never have to experience that.

I may not always be able to voice but you’re always welcome to message me. And you’re always welcome to join our voice channels in our discord when we’re hanging out :heart:

Love you friend. It’s been really nice hanging out and talking to you lately. I hope we get to get to know each other even more.


#4

I can’t really stay with my mom, she doesn’t have the sorta setup that would make it work out. None of my family in this area is likely interested in me staying with them long term. I am going to be talking to some of my family out of state in North Carolina to see what could possibly work there because you just sparked an idea in my head.
You’re an amazing friend and I appreciate you dearly. I’m glad we met.


#5

Well, I hope it works out friend! :smiley:
Where about in North Carolina? We have family up there around Asheville


#6

Pittsboro/Chapel Hill. About an hour outside of Raleigh/Durham area.