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I'm lost in my head again

I dont want to feel numb anymore. I dont want to constantly think about wanting to experiment drugs again.
I hate it when people fake care.
I’ve been keeping on just going with the flow but I’m drowning, inside and outside, I keep battling with these racing thoughts I hate it when this randomly comes up.
I’m tired of this life. Nothing ever changes. I thought I’d stop smoking weed but im at it again.
Man I wish I could have met my mom. I bet life would have been better. Maybe peaceful. I’ll never know. Life is hard because I’ve been alone. For 4 years. But it feels longer than that. I dont want to live. Like I have lived it and I see how it would be for the next 10 years thebsame nothing changed. I’ve been going on about this since I was just a kid.

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what’s going on friend?
sounds like there are a lot of feelings and thoughts hitting you hard right now.

Anything you’d like to share with us? We care about you, genuinely!

I’m sorry that you never got to meet your mom. That sounds like a pain that’s been with you for a while. Life can be hard, but we’re here for you, however we can to support you. Life rarely ever stays the same, we don’t really stay the same, even if it feels that we’re stuck. i’m glad you’re here with us, trusting us with your thoughts and feelings.

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From: Aces MCL36M

Hallos! I’ve been though this before I was adopted twice and never saw my biological family sadly. It really hard to get through but you can pull through it and will get easier. Dont though the drug even though him a teenager I was addicted to vaping and I will never do it again. Don’t try end it fren it’s a permanent solution to a temporary problem. You got dis fren trust me : D

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From: Rohini_868

Hi friend,

I’m hoping you are doing well, would love to hear how you’re doing. I know it’s been a hard time recently. You’ve been so brave and bene trying so hard, I hope you are taking the time to celebrate yourself! You are loved and valued for who you are!

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From: Micro

Hey @DeadlyKnowledge, it’s good to see you.

You’ve been through a lot of major life changes recently - leaving drugs and your old friends, dealing with the stress of finding a new job and a new place. It’s a lot to process. Once the peace settles down after an intense season, we may start to look back to our past and miss our old ways. I fyou have been used to this life for a while, then it can be really challenging to learn to redefine a new sense of comfort and safety. Paradoxically, what is healthy can feel empty, boring, uncomfortable at first. It’s worthy though. All the wonderful and brave steps you’ve accomplished lately are paving the road for a richer, deeper life to you.

On a different note, I see you mentioning your mom and her absence. Would you like to talk about it with us here? You have a story to tell, my friend. I’m more than willing to listen to it. To you. Your burdens and pain don’t have to be carried alone. It sounds that this grief is one that you’ve been experiencing for too long.

Hold Fast. We believe in you. We’re in this with you. :hrtlegolove:

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Hey there! I am so sorry that you are going through a rough time… Just know that we are all here for you, we all care about you, don’t go down the road of drugs again. It’s a bad loophole that I know tears families and friends apart (don’t ask, ik im too young to know). Changes will happen if you make them change. You decide which road and path you choose, its never too late to carve your own road in the stilling concrete that we call life. You’re never alone, we’re all here for you, we don’t fake care, we real care, please, stay safe!

-much love
Sh6dow

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Hello friend,

I am so sorry that you are having a rough moment right now. I am so proud of you for coming to HeartSupport to find encouragement. Life can be exhausting at times, and it is understandable. Life can be amazing as well. Find things that bring you joy & fulfillment. Discover a new hobby that you have been wanting to start. Go for some walks & get some sunshine. Enjoy life. The first step can quite often be the most frightening, but after we take that step…it becomes easier.

You are valid. You are strong. You are important. You are enough. You matter. :yellow_heart:

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From: ᏒᎧᏕᎥᏋ

Hi Friend, I’m so sorry that you’re going thru this. I’ve struggled with drugs most of my life and when you’re in deep, everything seems that much harder. Weed is a downer and could certainly bring your mood down. Why are you wanting to experiment with drugs? What are you looking for? What do you want out of the drugs? They say that we can change most of the things in our lives, if we really want to. You can look up some resources in your city, perhaps there are NA meetings you can go to or some type of program you can go thru. I hope you find peace. ~Mystrose

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From: mictek

I hope the healing light fills you friend, and you are able to find something in this life that gives you the spark you deserve to feel loved and free. At times we all get lost in there, try not to focus on that, instead focus on what actually makes you happy and move forward from there. I promise I truly do care about you, and I don’t know you. There really are people in this world that cares, it’s not all bad. There are so many beautiful things to experience while we are here, and I wish you the best in discovering them! I wish you well on your journey my friend. Much love and light to you!!!

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From: Lisalovesfeathers

Hey Friend, Thank you for your post, It must be so very be in the situation that you are in, I think you have been so incredibly strong to get where you are and there are going to be many times when things are going get tougher I guess and thats when you need people to turn to and I was thinking if you had heard of our action groups here at heart support they are there exactly for that purpose, to help with keep you on track, they are run by some wonderful people, I will put the link under this post. I hope you can take it up, I think it will do you some good. I wish you all the very best. Much Love Lisa. x

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From: Dr Hogarth

Hi DeadlyKnowledge,

The numbness that comes from depression seems endless and isolating. I think it’s from that state of just being inside your head that creates those relentless thoughts and sometimes the need to escape is overwhelmingly powerful. I’m not just speaking platitudes at you; I’ve seen this place and am still there often.

Not having your Mum in your life is a painful thing to live with, but that absence doesn’t have to define your life or your happiness. Who knows what life with your Mum would have been, or what joys or challenges you may have experienced? Don’t let those questions consume you as you can’t change the past. You can change what happens now. x

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