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I'm mentally tired

Im tired of feeling like ill try my best to be ok.
Im tired of feeling like ill give them another try .
Im tired of just everything in general.

I dont know how to feel be sides tired , paranoid, and frustrated . I feel like nothing is getting better . I thought my situation would get some what “better”. It hasnt. I still feel like shit .
I still feel like im not getting treated fairly . I am just done.

I cam across this song the other day and this resembles my situation so well .
“Somebody get me a hammer
Wanna break all the clocks and the mirrors
And go back to a time that was different
A time when I didn’t feel like there was something missing
Now my body and mind are so distant
Don’t know how to escape from this prison” - I cant breath by Bea Miller

Will my siutation get any better . will it be ok for once. I just want it to be done.

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I wish I could take away your pain and nurture your well-being. As tired as you are, I trust the strength that has brought you this far. There’s no need to break the mirrors because you’re not a vain person. Ignore the clocks when you can. Life takes place in the eternal now. Take a break from “everything in general.” What will help you in this moment? In this moment, consider that we care for you, and will be here for you.

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Hi all_around_ashley
I am sorry you are in this situation. It must be very frustrating and exhausting for you. However no situacion last forever. There will be a time when you will be happier. Once I did not believe things would improve but they eventually did. Try to take some time to yourself and enjoy at least the small things you can for now. You are strong Ashley. You can get through this. :wink:

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From: twixremix (Discord)

hey ashley! thank you for being here and sharing such an open, raw, and honest part of yourself. i hope it brought you peace in being able to write it out. it’s okay to take time for yourself where you regain that passion and energy for life again through self-care and healthy disconnection with the world when you are able to. trust me though, you are not alone in these feelings. i’ve been there where the weight of everything and the exhaustion that comes along with it brings you to your knees. i truly hope you’ll take things slow and to be easy on yourself. you’re doing the absolute best you can. things can and WILL get better, that’s just how life works. sort of like a rollercoaster, you’ll have your ups and downs but i’m happy you’re along for the ride. you matter, my friend, and you are so loved and appreciated. hold fast and let me know if you need anything. love, twix

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From: eloquentpetrichor (Discord)

Hello, All_around_Ashley! Life can be hard, no doubt about it. It can push you down and it feels like gravity is stronger than usual and refuses to let you stand up enough to even take a full breath of air. Sometimes the hardest thing is to keep going along until you can pull free. But I believe you can and will keep fighting towards that better day and not let it keep you down. From this post alone I can tell you are a strong person, because strong people find themselves in music and lyrics every day and use those words to power themselves. You are strong, you change the world every day with every person you interact with, and you matter. Just take life a day at a time and bring any happiness and light into your life that you can and keep your eyes on the horizon where you will find your better days. Where you can find happiness and feel lighter with every step. I have faith you will be able to use that hammer to fix rather than destroy. Keep moving forward through the gravity well and I look forward to seeing you on the other side hrtLegoLove

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From: Lisalovesfeathers (Discord)

Hi Friend, Thank you for your Post, I am sorry that life seems so exhausting at the moment. Its like sometimes we try so hard and get nowhere, very much like being on a treadmill and that’s only ok if you want to moving steadily in one spot and not moving forward. I am sorry that you feel like you are treated unfairly and that is wrong and if that is the case I hope that there is someone that you can talk to that can help you to get that situation changed as you are entitled to be treated as fairly as everyone else. I understand how tiring stress and frustration can be and feeling like things never improve but no road only goes one way so luckily it has to get better at some point, there will always be bumps but at some point the road goes in the direction that you want it to and you will travel it and find the happiness that you are looking for. In the meantime we are here to help and support you as much as we can friend. Much Love Lisa. x

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Ashley, you will be okay. There is hope for your situation to get better. Right now, it is just really, really hard to see that possibility because you are hurting, and that pain is valid. I wish you could get that hammer for you and rewind time, just so you could feel whole again. It’s not fair to be in this position of deep exhaustion and feeling like shit. Please don’t lose sight of how brave, loving and wonderful you are despite all of this. We love you so much here. You will get through this. :hrtlegolove:

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You feel… the same as my sister. I promise to try my best to help you, and her. Sometimes inducing nostalgia can help you feel more alive. What I would do is to remember a time when you felt better than you do now, but it was the same type of weather outside. Maybe burn a candle or incence or wear deodorant with a smell reminding you of a better time in your life. Play games, read books, and listen to music that you were into during the past. Or wear old clothes. Play with old toys if you have them. I hope it helps. Warning: My advice might be bad since I am only 12 years old. But I have been through a lot in those 12 years, so I only hope I have enough to help you.

Keep Holding on - :orange_heart:Pengyou

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@Pengyou , @Micro , @Ashwell , @Wings , and other :
Thank you for the responses . I had another down again.
This turned into another screaming match from me … I felt like I was a flat punching bag being walked over … I felt like I wasn’t being listed to no matter if i raised my voice or talked normal. my father was pulling the victim card. he invalidated my feelings . he told me “I was making him look like the bad person”. I have lawyers involved but I am soooo done . i am trying my best.

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I’m so sorry, @all_around_ashley. When someone invalites others feelings and pulls the victim card, it blocks the conversation on both ends. It’s not fair and your voice should be heard, even if there is a disagreement. Feelings are feelings. It’s not like it could be contested.

You’ve mentioned lawyers - it sounds that the situation with your dad has taken a turn. I hope you make to sure to keep healthy ways to release your emotions. He may not listen or understand your position, but you are not alone Ashley. We’re here for you. :hrtlegolove:

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Yeah it has taken a turn for about 4 weeks now . what was suggested was a parenting plan. and honestly, that’s not going to work/ that’s not what I want. I told my mom through text it’s either she has me live with her permanently or it’s 75-25. I’m tired of the bs I’m in … I just want this to end.
Back to permanently living with her, if it does happen she would have to fight for me in court and I don’t know how that’s going to work.
Sometimes I think of death being the only option but I know for me that’s the chicken way out . i know I’ve came so far. I’m just so fucken tired.

I’ve told my mother how I’ve felt and what my mother does but she tells me her hands are either tied or there’s so much she can do. when I do tell her something I dislike, she’s like go tell your friend ( leaving the name out for privacy reasons ) and she will either tell your father or will go to her boss. I really don’t want to go to my friend about this, even though she is hired to help but at the same time I don’t want to drag her into this shit and the boss she works for is the reason why most of this shit happened…
It took so much of me to not want to give up. I don’t know what to do.

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Your situation sounds complicated. Is your friend a counselor or advocate? If talking to this person will cause problems with the boss, you need to talk with someone else. You need to talk to someone with whom you feel comfortable.

How much longer will it be until you turn 18? As you indicated, you have come so far. Perhaps the worst is behind you. It might be better for you simply to avoid confrontations for now.

If possible, take some “time outs” during the day, when you mentally let go of all the issues that are troubling you. It also might help if you can find some kind of activity that will occupy your thoughts.

I hope things will improve for you very soon.

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@Wings ,
According to my mom she is a behavioral specialist that is trying to keep peace between people . (advocate to keep it short) … and her boss who I’ve met i dont like cause its caused issues. and I’m 21 about to be 22 . the only reason why i still with family is because they have guardian ship over me cause of reasons. I try to avoid confrontations but sometimes it doesn’t turn out well. I do play video games to distract me but yeah … it just is a sucky sucky situation to say the least.

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to add on to my previous post @Wings ,
I know she’s here to help me but I don’t want her to have to deal with my father … i feel like if I were to go to her , I feel like his actions wont change , I don’t want her to be stuck in this big ball of mess.

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Are his actions harmful to you, physically or emotionally?

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I’m tired of the bs I’m in … I just want this to end.

Which is absolutely valid. And the situation will change, because you are taking some serious steps to make it possible. We will be here to encourage you, especially during times when you might feel helpless and/or hopeless. this whole situation is very draining and requires you so much energy. But you are seriously considering your options and standing for your rights, which is not an easy path, but one that is worth it. Your needs have to be met. Your voice has to be heard.

Sometimes I think of death being the only option but I know for me that’s the chicken way out . i know I’ve came so far. I’m just so fucken tired.

Thinking about it can be an automatism when we are emotionally exhausted. You just want peace. and you will get it. But death is not an option. Your life is too important. You have so much worth and value. You have so much to bring and so much more to live. And you are so loved, friend.

I know she’s here to help me but I don’t want her to have to deal with my father … i feel like if I were to go to her , I feel like his actions wont change , I don’t want her to be stuck in this big ball of mess.

That shows how loving and caring you are. However, if this person has been hired for a specific reason. She’s here to help, and she certainly knows already that help doesn’t equal peace, but more than likely to face situations that are very messy. It’s okay to rely on her and talk to her, even if it doesn’t change your dad either. Just the act of talking to someone aware of the situation in all of its subtelties can be a huge relief. It’s okay to reach out to someone who is actually there for that purpose. You wouldn’t burden her.

I hope today will be a great day for you despite the heaviness of this situation. Make sure to have some time for you, and just for you. :hrtlegolove:

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is it part of her job to help you through this?

If so, then she should be qualified and able to deal with your dad, as she may have dealt with worst situations in her professional setting.

IF you go to her, would it be giving her more important knowledge/information to enable her to do her job with better understanding of the people she’s supposed to keep the peace between?

Overall is sounds like a complicated matter, and a messy one, you’re being really brave, an I comment you for speaking out and advocating for yourself as much as you have done already.

Hoping that a solution can be found and you are able to be in a better situation shortly.
sending a ton of happy vibes your way

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It’s all been emotional. this whole situation has been emotional.

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thank you micro, yeah it’s getting a little better.

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Trust has always been a big issue with me . yeah i can trust her but with this , trust is iffy .

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