I'm never going to be enough

I don’t really know what to do anymore… I’m focusing HARD on my recovery with the help of some amazing people in this community and I feel like I’m doing OK in that respect… However, I’m coming to a dead end with my parents.
They’re constantly comparing me to my sisters… They’re mum and dads little angels, and I’m just that messed up kid that came before them. My dad constantly tells me how bad I look, how messed up I am because I have self harm scars and am going to therapy. My mum has started contributing to making me believe that my suicidal thoughts are true now too. I feel like everyone would be so much better off if I just didn’t exist anymore… I wouldn’t be in the way of them loving my sisters… The council said they would support me in moving out because of how harmful being here is to my health, however they let me down and said that because I’m not being physically abused or kicked out, they can’t support me… I don’t have the money right now to move out, I’m saving but, it’s slow. I can’t move until I can drive anyway, which is coming, but not soon enough. I don’t know what to do anymore, whenever I’m around my parents I just want to die… I ask them to do something and they say ok, but then do it for my sisters instead and get mad when I ask them why they did that… I’m trying to hold on to the love from this community but it’s getting harder and harder now.


You’re doing everything right Kayla. When home’s the problem, a lot of times moving out is the solution. But moving out requires money, and money requires time, and usually it’s a lot more time than we wish it was. You’re doing everything right, it just takes that long. But you’ll make it, and we’ll be here <3