Hi i am new ill start from the start im a 16 6’3 and 210lbs. I don’t see myself as a human being more a mistake that needs correction my biological fathers side of me are all drug dealers/addicts robbers or murderers and he essentially raped my mom and had me and im legally emotionally abused rn and my school thinks im a school shooter cause i used empty threats to avoid my bullying from escalating to something physical i have all of 1 friend irl who is always working and I see him once a year and I have done the same thing i have done scince 4th grade i go to school i come home and watch tv and movies and video games my parents hate me im out on the street at 19 and im in panic mode all the time and I just don’t like to bother people with my illness cause i know others have problems of there own i would date but i don’t want to burden anyone with my presence i just don’t want to die on the cold street in 3 years message me with anything i am very open
Hey, you are not alone. We are here for you. You are here for a reason. You matter! I want to share a video with you https://youtu.be/TNpXDDKomT0 I hope it will help you.
Dear @Tazorcorn,
You’re young but you’ve been through a lot already. You are not a mistake. You are not a burden to anyone. Reaching out is healthy and it’s a great thing to do .Your past and current experiences make you doubt of your own worth. I’m sorry. Sorry you’ve been dealing with such heavy things for a long time. It shouldn’t be like this. Please keep in mind that there’s nothing in what you shared that is questioning who you are and your right to exist. You’re a person. You’re breathing. You belong to this world no matter what.
There are elements of your own story that resonates deeply with mine. I grew up in a family that was dysfunctional and I witnessed too many violence at a young age. Then I realized that it wasn’t only in my close family, but there was also too much violence in my mother’s side of the family. Her parents, grandparents, brothers, sister. There is a history of violence that has been repeated through generations. It’s not fair when you inherit that, the behavior and violence of people that are supposed to love you unconditionally. And I know how hard it is to describe how unhealthy an environment can be when you’re actually living in. Friend, you managed to share about what’s going on and it’s not easy to do that. It is something yet, it matters. And I hope you can be proud of you for this. Being here shows how strong you are.
There are so many emotions, feelings and thoughts that comes up while you’re in an environment like this. My heart really goes to you. I know I can’t heal the pain you’re carrying. But right here, right now, from my own place I can tell you that none of what happened was your fault and you didn’t deserve to live this. You don’t deserve the hate of your parents. And you don’t deserve to be out on the street. Others have problems, that’s right. But we don’t care about others here. This is about you, your well being and your safety. You matter. Your presence is a gift to this world.
When I left home, I was all by myself and spent an amount of time without a roof over my head. I hear your fears. I understand that. I know it’s scary and it’s hard not to panic. But you’re not gonna die on the cold streets okay? Solutions can be found, actions can be taken. I’m not sure if you meant to say that you’re outside and on your own right now or if you can’t stay at home at night. But anyway, I’d like to encourage you to look after social services in you area that might be able to help you. I don’t know in which country you live, but now you’ll certainly need to do a bit of researches and ask for help. You don’t need anyone else permission to do this. It is your right entirely. But it implies for you to push back those lies telling you that you’re a burden, as much as you can. Because you’re not a burden. So please, use you phone or whatever device you used to come here, look for services near where you live, call them or go there directly if you can. Talk to people there about your situation.
Again, I’m sorry I’m not sure if you meant to say that you’re 19 or if you’re actually a minor, but know that there is a hotline available: National Child abuse hotline: (1-800) 4-A-Child or (1-800) 422-4453 or Online Chat https://www.childhelp.org/childhelp-hotline/.
Maybe also call the friend you mentioned and ask them if they can help you. It could be worth the try.
Hang in there. You are not alone and you can do this. 
Hi thanks for responding i am 16 and i don’t want to call social services cause i wouldn’t have anything I have now my consoles my movies my dod ect the only things. I care about besides my younger sister my dad has done alot for me but now i am just a nuisance to him he was there when me and my mom had nowhere to go and he has done so many nice things but when I was really young after school i would do my homework and if i got told something I didn’t understand he would get angry and id cry and if my mom was home s hff e would record it and threaten to upload it if i didn’t stop crying i love them but when i needed help with anything when I was young I was always told to figure it out and now they expect me to just know how to do everything and I really hate change especially a big change i like having a schedule to follow but im tired of being told i don’t do anything or i do something wrong i also don’t think anyone would adopt a 16 year old so idk i wish I didn’t exist and i wouldn’t commit suicide because im to scared if i failed or something i wish the mistakes my mom did with my deceased biological father did never happend and my mom stayed with my stepdad