To start off, im new here I have known about heart support for a long time but never came to the official website just twitch because i am a twitch addict.
I give a bit of a biography, I have high functioning autism, some of you guys my know it as Asperger’s syndrome, clinical depression and panic disorder. I live by myself mostly and I always feel lonely, to top everything off i do go to school to become an x-ray tech. But its really really hard I have to communicate daily and that something i dont understand how to too without intense anxiety i have no idea how to improve this. Sometimes if its really bad it can because physical and i get a panic attack, my chest hurts i cant breathe ect. i once even went to the ER thinking it was a different issue but it was not Long story short i feel really lonely i have issues with confrontation and communication and I dont feel content with anything. Like this schooling is just cause i need a job im in 30k debt from college and i just dont know what i want in life. please help
sometimes i try to forget and play video games and stream on twitch but its hard to get people to see you on the web and stuff i just feel lost
Finding any way to share and talk about it is really the first step to dealing with any issue so your already on the right path. I also see a lot of advantages in speaking to a professional. Each session may not be life changing but it helps to feel connected. What about joining some sort of group at school. It may be way outside of your comfort zone but for me, if i took no chances, and let my fears stand in the way, id never do anything. Almost everyone is afraid of new social interactions, believe me. They may not show it, but just about everyone is to some degree, so your deff. Not alone there. Things may be difficult, but your never alone and things can get better if we work at them. One of my favorite quotes ever is from Hellen Keller… “Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it.” Keep your head up!
I’ve gone to therapists before. And I have major issues tellOmg then the deep important things. The negative stuff that I’m sure they need to hear. It’s so difficult.
I may not understand your specific struggles with your disability, but i can deffinately identify with life not being easy and struggling. Give yourself credit for not giving up and trying to find a way through. Have some faith man. I went through alot of years of alcoholism and heroin addiction on top of mental health issues. If anyone ever talked to me about faith or god or anything remotely spritual i completey shut down. But today its a big part of my life. Give it a shot… could a prayer hurt anything?
First of all, hugs I’m sorry you are dealing with some heavy stuff right now. You are not alone.
I am also a fellow autistic. And I battle with with PTSD, bipolar disorder and severe anxiety. So I can relate to the heavy weighted things that these things inflict upon us. It’s never easy.
It can be really hard communicating. And it takes time to get it down. And sometimes we don’t. But that’s why there are so many resources out there for us to use. To help us with these things. Are you able to maybe find someone that you can see regularly to help you work through the stuff you are struggling with?
The counselor I see works very specifically with people on the spectrum and also do with anxiety and trauma. Maybe there is someone out there like that for you! Who can understand you as someone who is on the spectrum and maybe point you to some resources that can help you out. My therapist is often giving me tips, links and book suggestions to better help me grow and guide me on a day to day basis. She’s wonderful in listening and allowing me to speak without feeling judged. I hope that maybe someone like that can be there for you as well. It may help a lot.
Video games are def a way to find an outlet. Do you do art or read? Do you enjoy any other hobbies? Board games? DND? Are there any things that you find interest in that you can channel some of your time and energy into to feel better? I know its hard to find that motivation when you feel so awful, but it can also be such an amazing thing.
I’m sorry you feel so lost my friend. And I’m sorry that I don’t have all of the answers for you. But I wanted you to know that I read your post and that I see you. That I hear you. I care. I want you to know that you are so important. That your feelings matter. How you feel matters and I hope so much that something will pop up for you that will feed you the strength and guidance you need so that you can feel better.
I want to say after reading this, nearly brought me to tears. I like to play video game for sure. I play a bunch of league of legends. I think I def. need to branch out and find a good counselor. I’ve been to a Few before and my issue is we just laugh and talk and never get to the dark things I want to talk about and umm I suppose since you’re on the spectrum as well you might be able to understand how confronting things is difficult.
It can be very hard to open up about the dark things. And that’s why it’s important that you find someone that you trust enough to be truly open and honest with. So you can feel safe saying “I know I need to talk about these deeper things but I don’t know how” and then they can gently help you find a way that works best for you to open up and work through those things.
It’s scary. But if you let it, it can be such an amazing thing and it can feel so good having someone you can safely be open to.
I hope that you can find this with someone and that you can find a comfort in being free with your feelings.
I shall try this, im not sure when the time will come but I will do my best to keep these ideas that you have recommended for my locked away until then.
Even If in little steps. Much love my friend!