I don’t have many friends, but I try to hold onto the few that I do have. However, my boyfriend is always around me and when I try to text my friends he asks who I’m texting immediently, and if it’s someone he doesn’t like (everyone I’m friends with) he’ll throw a temper tantrum and start yelling at me. I just stopped texting my friends when I’m around him, so basically I never get to unless I’m alone which is rare. It breaks my heart because I really miss them. I wish I could spend time with him and also casually text my buds without feeling an extreme case of guilt. It sucks. I’m not sure what to do. I’ve asked him before if he could please stop asking who I’m texting because it’s not very interesting and it stresses me out but he won’t listen. He just keeps asking and idk how to feel. He says he asks because he’s interested in my life, but then why does he freak out the way he does? It’s really scary. Idk, just a rant I guess.
Hey Friend,
I feel that although he says he asks because he’s interested in your life, but gets very upset to the point where you’ve just stopped talking to them because of it, it is a bit of a red flag and something I would encourage you to pay attention to. I get him wanting to spend time with you and you spending time with him, but it’s healthy for both of you to have friends and it sounds like he’s making it very difficult for you to have any. I would encourage you to keep communicating with him and being honest that being able to talk with your friends is something that is important to you.
Hold Fast,
Hannah Rhodes
Everyone needs their alone time whether you’re an introvert or extrovert. If he can’t give you space that is a terrible sign.
As for your friends tell him he doesn’t have to be friends with your friends yet to respect your friendships and stop acting like child. If he can’t I suggest going into the bathroom and lock his ass out. If that doesn’t work then start going for walks and tell him you need time to think hard alone. Then while you’re on your walks text your friends.
That’s kind of what I’ve been doing, going to the bathroom or in my room or just anywhere else to text them. It’s hard though, to always feel that pressure like I have to hide in order to. It’s exhausting.
I agree, I try to be honest with him about it and tell him that my friends are important to me but he just gets so mad. I feel like I’ve done something wrong for simply being friends with them. I wish I could just feel happy about talking to other people.
I am sorry the way he reacts to you having friends makes you feel so bad. You shouldn’t feel guilty for having friends besides your boyfriend. I feel as though that is a control thing and something that should be taken notice of. Isolation is not healthy in a relationship and it sounds like you are becoming more isolated because he gets so mad and so to remedy the situation you stop talking to them. I do think it’s great you are trying to communicate and being honest with him though. That way he is aware of your feelings on the situation.