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I'm overthinking I dont know how to do anything

I overthink a lot for starters. I have this friend who keeps calling me by this nickname that I don’t like, mostly because when I got it it was in a period of extreme awkwardness and uncomfortableness. I dont know how to ask him to stop calling me that without making it weird. Like what are the exact words to use. He’s part of the friend group that likes to tease me a lot and I dont know how to respond to them at all all the time. I don’t know what to do about it. I cant say I like the constant teasing, but I like them as people. I deal with it because somehow I think it will toughen me up and it’s good to experience and be outside my comfort zone but now I’m just unhappy. Being around people is hard for me. I feel like I’m drowning. I never know what to say. I care too much about what I say and do. I’m tired of caring. I want to do what just makes me happy, but I don’t want to hurt other people’s feelings or cause relationships to be damaged. This is probably because of my dad, who if I spoke my mind and said something he didn’t like, he would yell at me and then ignore what happened. I just dont want to say what’s on my mind anymore because of that but I’m tired of saying and doing things just to make other people happy. The problem is, is this me giving into my depression? Shouldn’t I just fake it till I make it? For instance, my sister wants to throw me a graduation party, but I dont want one. I dont want to socialize. Partying seems like a reward for the hard year, but socializing is not a reward to me. But then, if I insist on saying no, would that just be festering depression? I just want to be alone. I don’t know how to be happy. Everything around me has set a bad example for relationships. I’m tired. I’m tired of trying, and for what? I cant explain myself to other people. It’s like slipping and sliding and falling on ice. I’m tired of trying to connect, of trying to be happy for other people not to worry about me.
I also like somebody, and I feel like I should tell them just to get an answer, but if I’m this bad with friends, how would I be in a relationship? Besides,I dont even have the guts to tell them. This is the part of me who doesnt believe in love anymore, doesnt even want to move toward a crush. Because my dad, who is a bit of an asshole, sets such a great fucking example. I dont want to like this person. I dont want to feel anything anymore.

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Hey there,

Lemme just say thank you for expressing yourself. For reaching out.

From what it sounds like, you don’t have a reliable person or place that you can comfortably be yourself around. And you are disregarding your own feelings to possibly not hurt others or to be ignored. It sucks, I understand completely. My advice, be selfish, to a point. Your a person, with your own needs, goals, and feelings. If you don’t communicate that to people then you’ll never be heard. So look after yourself, take time for you. Start small, like set aside 20 minutes each day to do whatever you want. If your friends ask to hang out and you don’t want to, tell them that your dealing with personal stuff and you’ll go when your ready.

Feel free to ask me or anyone anything that you are having trouble experiencing. We all wish you well <3

  • Aidan
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From: Dark Weeb 666 (Matt)

Hi Bvblover16. First of all there is NOTHING wrong with not liking socializing. There are people who are just more introverted then others and dont find socializing fun. I know this personality test that can measure your introversion among others things. You can try it out if you want. :slightly_smiling_face: https://bigfive-test.com/ . When it comes to your friends there is a fine line between friendly teasing and bullying. If you are not comfortanble with the teasing it is good to tell them to tone it down a bit. If they care about you they will understand. I think it is really good that you are starting to care about what YOU want. Dont give up on love and dreams though. Dont let other peoples views and bad attitudes affect your desicions. You are you. I think it might be good to find a therapist to help you with your mental health issues but i think your issues might not be as serious as you think. Stay safe friend :slightly_smiling_face:

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From: Aces MCL36M

Hallos! Congrats on graduating! Being introverted doesn’t necessarily mean you’re depressed. Getting bullied is not a way to get stronger in fact it will make you weaker. From personal experiences, you should always face up to something if it isn’t normal or right. Getting bullied can lead to low self-esteem. You can get therapy for social reasons to try to become less introverted but you can honestly do it independently if you like going out of your comfort zone by going to parties and letting your sister throw that graduation party for you. Just say to your friend to stop speaking badly about you there’s nothing weird about that.

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From: ᏒᎧᏕᎥᏋ

Hi Friend, congratz on graduating, that’s awesome! It’s ok to want to be alone, not everyone wants to be or feels comfortable around others. It’s called being introverted and doesn’t necessarily mean you are depressed, but only a doctor can diagnose you if you are. My brother was very quiet and spent a lot of time alone and just said he was shy. When he grew up, some of that went away. I’m sorry you have a hard relationship with your father, I do too so I feel for you. ~Mystrose

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From: Lisalovesfeathers

Hey Friend, Thank you so much for your post, I can relate so much to a lot of what you have written although I am a lot older than you I was very much like you when I was younger and still am to a degree. I would like to start by saying that your friends should not be calling you names that you are not comfortable with and if they are good friends and you mention to them that just don’t like it then that should be enough to stop it, friends do not want to upset other friends and asking them nicely to stop calling you names will not hurt their feelings but will let them know that you are not happy with the situation anymore. When it comes to you not wanting to do a lot of socializing etc, I was and am exactly the same and I honestly dont think it has anything to do with depression, I dont know if you have depression or not but I would not assume automatically that a person who is introverted was depressed. I do think however that you do possibly carry issues from your dad as you have written and maybe some therapy would help with that. In the meantime, it is ok to say no to things that you do not want do or disagree with others , as long as things are said in a respectful way there is no reason why you would hurt anyone by having your own opinions. You are loved and valued here whatever your thoughts are. Much Love Lisa. xx

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From: eloquentpetrichor

Hello, Bvblover16! Congratulations on your graduation!

You are perfectly within your rights to not want a graduation party but that is really sweet of your sister to want to throw you one regardless of if it happens or not. I know parties can be a bit bothersome and I agree that having a lot of people around can be annoying. I’m also an introvert. But the good thing about graduation parties are cake and presents. And I assume your sister will only invite people you want to come so you can make sure it isn’t too many people. The way graduation parties were when I graduated was they were “open house” style and most people would just pop by for half an hour to eat some food, say “congrats”, and then go on to another party. Idk if this is how it works where you live or anymore but that made it really easy to not socialize much during the party. People spoke to each other and the focus wasn’t on me.

I think you sound like you have a very introverted personality and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Have you ever taken any personality tests? I enjoy taking them as they help me learn a bit about myself and really look inward to who I am. There is the Big Five personality test and my preferred one is the Myers-Briggs 16 personalities test The test. I encourage you to check them out at some point and maybe you can find out some fun things about yourself. And entering the world after school is always a great time to understand yourself a bit better.

As for your friends and how you dislike what they say and the nickname I suggest writing down some different wordings to decide how you want to say it. Having people say hurtful things, even best friends, is not a way to experience friendship. A way to word it that I thought of is: “I really like being your friend, but the jokes have gotten a bit much. And I would prefer being called by my name if that’s okay”. Something simply and to the point while making sure they know you value their friendship. If they don’t respect you saying this then I don’t think they respect you the way they should.

Congratulations again on graduating and good luck with your path forward :hrtlegolove:

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