I feel awful, I called my Sister yesterday and she was really rude to me, she said when are you going to get a job?! are you going to do physical therapy, when are you going to do that?!, you just sit and stare at your phone all day!, You need to start meal prepping!, stop feeling sorry for yourself!, You should do a 30 day yoga challenge!, I know you’re on disability but what are you going to do in the long run?!
She doesn’t get it! She’s not understanding how the disability is affecting you. I can’t imagine her listening to you if you try and explain it. I’m saying that based on the insensitivity she’s demonstrated toward you. That’s not to imply that she doesn’t mean well. If you’re up to it, try writing her a letter that explains it. That way she can’t interrupt and try to steamroller you into agreeing with her.
Her perception that you should just fix all of your issues, is good reason to feel overwhelmed. Her pressure is actually making it harder for you. Be patient and accepting of yourself. Having limitations doesn’t diminish your value, and can potentially increase it.
Trying to live your life according to your sister’s expectations is probably never going to feel right to you. It’s not her expectations you need to be concerned with. Approach your self-expectations with compassion, and forgive any efforts that don’t succeed.
Choose the changes you wish to make, preferably one at a time, and take them on in manageable stages, ones that you can confidently handle. Even things such as house cleaning can be overwhelming, if you think about all the stuff that must be done. Instead, focus on a little bit at a time. Small changes are sustainable, as are doing small parts of big jobs.
Take care of yourself, Wings
@anon11594243, I’m sorry that you are feeling overwhelmed. It sounds like you called your sister for support but didn’t get it in the manner you wanted. It’s hard when family doesn’t respond the way we need them to. How is your relationship with your sister? Can you talk to her about how you feel when she is making so many suggestions to you? Perhaps you could try to give her some suggestions on how she can better help you as you work through your disability. It sounds like she loves you and wants to see you healthy and isn’t sure how to help you achieve this goal.
Fragmented lack of patience , and understanding