This week is being dificult for me, I have a lot of work from university and I am getting very nervous. Apart from that I am starting feeling again that I only make people life more negative or like I feel that I am toxic, because of that, today I start crying again and now I dont want to talk to anyone…I dont know if that normal or not.
Maybe it sound selfish, but I think that I need some space.
You aren’t toxic. How i know that is because toxic people don’t hate being toxic.
It happens to me a lot that I start thinking I’m a toxic family member and I go and cry and feel icky, but my sister pointed out to me that i I really was Toxic, I wouldn’t be sad about it.
I’m sorry you’re having a rough time. University and deadlines can be very stressful. It’s really understandable to feel very nervous when work is piling up. When I was a student, there were those cycles of finals and deadlines that made me super anxious and my mind was all over the place. It’s good to try to see what helps you during those moments. Making sure you meet your basic needs for example (food, sleep, moving your body/exercising), but also just cultivating moments of self-care. Do you have a schedule that works for you? Do you take regular breaks? (those are important and actually help you to be more productive in the long run!). It might be good to do a check-up today and see in which area you could take care of yourself - even more than usual, because those are special circumstances.
It also makes sense to feel the need to hide away when you feel vulnerable and believe you’re a burden to the people around you. You’re not weird for reacting that way or for believing those things. There’s a part of personal vulnerability and fears, but that doesn’t mean you actually are a burden. People who love you certainly don’t see you as a burden at all. But it can be hard to shake those feelings when it becomes more intense.
If you need some space, then that’s okay. That’s totally not selfish. Some days, I’m super overwhelmed by everything, even just small things. But one thing + another one + another one can start to be a little too much. So I just take some time for myself and do what I know is good for me to recharge, both emotionally and physically. No one blames me for that. It’s totally okay to do it, and it’s actually really good to know where your limits are.
Though, just a little parenthesis: be careful not to isolate yourself because you’d feel like a burden. It would be damaging and nourrish those thoughts. Some balance can be found when you’re feeling vulnerable yet need time for yourself. Just be sure you do it for the right reasons and actually take care of yourself. Your well-being is important, friend. But so are you. <3
PS - Maybe the following exercise could be interesting for you to look at. Sometimes when we feel things intensely, it’s good to take some time to reflect on ourselves and clarify our thoughts. This thought of being toxic is definitely something you can learn to challenge, at your own pace:
Take care, friend. You are loved. It’s always a pleasure to see you around. If that’s okay, let us know how it goes for you.
First thing Happy new year, I hope that you are having a great start.
Second thing I am so sorry for answering so late.
The first thing I have to say for the answer you gave me, is thank you, thank for being there and for taking your time for answering.
Now I am feeling a little better, than when I posted this post, Is true that there are times that I feel a little toxic or that I want some time alone, but is not the same feeling I was having last month.
So thank you guys @Micro when I have enough time, I will try the exercise you send me
Thank you again , Have a great day
And I will try to be more active in this amaizing place and to help people .