I'm scared of liking things

Hello there,

First of all, let me say that I’ve heard of this forum through KitBoga, which has made me aware that there are people that care about this stuff (such as here if I have to believe him).
In a month, I’m going to be starting college for the first year and meeting a lot of new people.

However, I’m kinda fearing meeting them, especially introducing myself to them.
For the past few years, I feel like I have never really had any friends. Only some contacts during school. Whenever I enjoy doing something, I do it by myself or with my family.

I’m scared to like things, and to tell others I like those things. When meeting new people, that I know I’m going to be with for multiple years (college for example), I’m scared of telling them my hobbies, and games I like for example. I’m fearing that they think I’m weird, and that I’ll be lonely for the upcoming years again.

In the last few years I have felt myself more and more to only liking things other people like, at least when I’m with them. For example, if I want to play a video game I enjoy, I always put my profile to offline so others can’t see what I’m playing. However if someone else plays that game too, I’m no longer afraid and will keep my profile online.

I’m even scared to share my online accounts with other people, in fear that people I know find them and make fun of me (I spent the last years hiding most of them).

Does anyone here have any advice for me?


Honestly? Stop caring if anyone likes what you like.

What you like has nothing to do with anyone else and neither is it any of their business. You do what makes you happy because you have every right to be happy. My basic philosophy is, If you don’t sign my paycheck or take my rent payment, nothing I do, say, like, etc depends on you and so you have no say. So, do these people pay your rent? Do they sign your paycheck? Then why does it matter if they like/don’t like the same thing as you?

As far meeting people goes, I feel that is generally safe to assume that if you’re going to a specialized school or class, you will inevitably find people with similar interests. That being said, you’ll never know until you try, and every time you don’t try, you’re guaranteed to not make a friend. I’m not saying to rush into meeting people if you are not ready, but you won’t make friends if you don’t try, and college/school is a great place to try.

Also, I found this place because of Kitboga as well. Small world, eh?


Hey 'BogaFam - @ScammerScammerFan! Welcome here.

What I hear in your message is that you are embarassed by your inner world. You’re afraid that if people know you better, they’ll think that all the things that you love, that you are, will push them to leave you.

There’s nothing wrong at all by choosing, deliberately, not to share something you like because it’s just your privacy! There’s a lot of things I personally don’t share because I consider it to be mine, and I don’t feel the need to invite anyone to be part of it. But when it’s more about hiding because of some fears… it’s different. Not saying it’s wrong, not at all. But it can be destructive and feed the things you already think about yourself.

There’s a part of risk in sharing your own world with others. It’s super scary: what if they find that I’m weird? What if they judge me. What if they don’t like me?

The thing is, there will always be people who won’t like you. But when you invite others in your own world, you also honor them with your trust, with yourself. It really is an invitation, with your rules. And for the ones who’ll appreciate it, who’ll value your trust, then it’s a mutual gift.

Of course, you don’t have to turn into a full exposure mode. You’ll need to take your time. To try, maybe fail sometimes, but to focus on being you, step by step, and not being who you think others are expecting you to be - which is a whole different thing. You have the right to be who you are. To love what you love. And to say it if you want to! You don’t have to hide. There’s nothing to be ashamed of when it’s about you.

There’s a movie that I love, Dead Poets Society, and this reminds me of a powerful scene that I’d like to share with you:

You have a lot to live, and a lot to offer to this world. :hrtlegolove:

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