so long story short my mom basically took my computer and she kicked me out of my room so shes in my room right now so I went to my room to go and get it and I found her vodka and I usually pour out her vodka whenever I can find it so i found it and i picked it up and she put me in a chokehold so i would drop it and then she just sort of hit me a lot and then she gave me my computer and i got it back obviously and my dad woke up and turned the power off to my room so she doesn’t have power anymore and i was hiding in my bathroom for a while because it had a lock on it so she couldn’t get in and then i was able to leave my bathroom so yeah I’m scared right now i don’t want my mom to hurt me anymore and i don’t think she will now that my dads awake but she’s been threatening me all night about how ill go to sleep and somethings gonna happen so I’m gonna stay awake for a while um and now I’m just scared because my moms being weird again and so yeah that’s whats going on i guess but yeah my moms been saying shes gonna leave me which i guess is kind of ok im not sure im sorry for this not being making much sense im kind of out of it the whole choking thing was scary but it wasn’t that bad it was only for like 5-10 seconds im not sure but she just wanted me to drop the alcohol so it wasn’t like she was gonna try to um actually do anything bad she just tried to stop me from grabbing it but that’s done now so its ok im just a little out of it im sorry my posts are usually organized or at least have grammar and stuff so they make sense but this doesn’t im gonna try to fix that when i can sorry about that
Hey @ahhspencer,
Don’t worry for your message - it’s totally understandable, you’re fine.
Friend, I am so sorry for what happened. I only read now the other message you sent to give some updates, and you already mentioned being hit by her. Your mom’s addiction is taking a radical turn and it’s time now to reach out to your dad (is he aware of what’s going on?) and/or a crisis line. The situation can’t go on like this. She threatens you, she scares you, it gets physical and she doesn’t have the right to do so. This is abuse. Regardless of the amount of pain she is dealing with right now, it’s not an excuse. It is not your role to endure that or to try to fix her. You all need external help right now. Being safe where you live is not a luxury, and your mom’s behavior is a threat.
I know this is incredibly painful and distressing. I really do. I know you love her and you want to make the right decisions for everyone. You are loving and caring more than she probably realize. But I’ve read all your post and I also see how the situation is evolving since you started to post here. It’s time to reach out to professionals who will help you all to create the safety you need. I value the trust you put in here by sharing what’s going on in your life. This is incredibly brave and I’m so proud of you for doing so. I hope you believe me if I say that I only want you to be safe, and for your family to heal in the best conditions. I’ve been in a similar position as yours as I grew up, and as scary as it is to reach out to a hotline or the police, it’s absolutely okay to do it. It’s their job to help. Reaching out wouldn’t mean that you would break your family apart, friend. You’re not guilty for what’s going on. Sometimes parents can be a threat to their children, whether they mean it or not.
You didn’t ask to be in this position. And this situation is not your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong Gracie. Now, the only priority is your safety. There is no in-between. A mom, a parent, is not someone a child should be afraid of. They have to bring safety, love and care.
I want to encourage you to tell your dad about what happened, or join the following hotline and explain your situation as you did here - or even just copy paste your message here if you want (they have an online chat):
If you need our help to take those steps, it’s okay too. You can picture this community as being your neighbour aware of what’s going on and willing to help. We’re in this with you. You’re not alone. And you’ll be okay. 
thank you for responding, and for the hotline, im gonna talk to my dad about it, thanks again for all the help
Thank you so much for the update.
Still in this with you friend. If anything, you have a safety net here. 
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