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I'm so done I just want to die

I can’t take it anymore. I’ve been so out of it with things and I really try doing my best. I’ve been doing really well in school, but none of it actually makes me happy. I made friends with a group of people and met this one guy that I’ve went on a date with. All of that came crashing down because a stupid ex of mine had to spam message me, I told the guy who I’m seeing about it full and honest. He asks me can I talk to him, I say no because I just wanted to stop crying for the night and just relax and hang out with him. He went behind my back and messaged my ex who he is and how me and him are dating, now I have more to worry about because my ex is going to go on the offensive full force. It just made things worse. I don’t know who I can trust. I feel left out, unimportant, I have no one to talk to and I’ve tried getting therapy help but none of it is free and I don’t have the money for it. I feel so lost I feel so defeated, I’m constantly dealing with my ptsd. I just put on a happy face for everyone because I know it breaks their hearts when they see I’m sad and they put it on themselves. Also it’s super embarrassing to tell people how you really are. I don’t want to deal with this stress anymore. I don’t want to feel scared 24/7 anymore. I want it all the stop. I just want to end it all. I’ve been avoiding this website because I didn’t want to tell people how I’m doing and how I feel like I’ve made no progress. I feel worthless, I’m scared. It just hurts. I want to die.

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Hi @Purplelilly! I’m so sorry to hear that you’re going through a rough time right now. We’re here for you! Have you done anything to try to combat the bad thoughts and feelings? There are a bunch of healthy activities you can engage in that can help provide you with the tools for you to fight back and feel better. You’re loved, friend!

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Im so sorry this is happening to you. Im going through a lot as well too. I feel the same with you. I always seem to put on a happy face around others but I know im not truly happy especially with school. I feel like giving up too. Talk to me I will be there for you! If you ever want to talk my Instagram is quiet.mage._.1841 or my snapchat is foxlover1841. :slight_smile:

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Thank you so much for sharing @Purplelilly. That takes so much strength, so I am so glad that you are here. I am so sorry that you are going through this. That’s a lot to take for one person. You are not worthless and you are loved.

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