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I'm so exhausted but I still have so much to do

If I have one word to describe how I feel right now, it’s exhausted. Mentally, physically, emotionally. I put a lot of effort into Christmas this year since I wanted to really see and feel the growth I’ve had for the past year. I really put together a whole outfit for our green-themed party, and I also used to be really into makeup so I put a lot of effort into doing that again. I felt extra, but beautiful. I’m looking forward to putting together a different look for our New Year’s day dinner. Other than that, the shopping, preparation and being social has really tired me out.

I’m trying to catch a break right now, but my sleep schedule has been messed up again :confounded: I also have to move furniture out my room and get rid of a lot of things because I’m getting a bedroom “makeover”. I’ve had this loft bed for YEARS now and I’m tired of how much space it takes, how it basically casts a shadow over my whole room, and how inconvenient it is to go up and down its stairs (which double as drawers which seems cool until you forget how much garbage you have LOL). It’s been great throwing away trash and separating things I can donate and I’m very much looking forward to my new room.

I wish I can work on my art more. Through the encouragement of my friends, I was able to start my art page on instagram, but I feel the pressure to post. I wish more people saw it, too. It’s really disheartening when my friends don’t like my drawings but share others’ works. I have a lot of ideas too but it takes so much time. I put so much pressure on myself to practice because if I want to be an artist for a living, I wanna be good enough to draw enough things regularly and put together compositions. I know quality is far better than quantity but I just wish I had more room for art. I love getting buried in a project. I’m currently chipping away at my third ever digital painting. It’s really fun! But I want to get back to some traditional art to practice drawing things I haven’t drawn before.

I hope I get my room finished soon so I can finally get back into my art.

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Just wanted to add an update to this post before I go to bed… I’m starting to feel low and sad again and I’m hoping that things get better for me tomorrow. I might keep updating this post if I can’t sleep, I don’t wanna spam the wall or make a new support post since I’ve already posted, but I can feel my mood changing and dropping and I hope I can talk it out with someone. I’m quite tired so I’ll try and have some time to relax. I hope I feel better again tomorrow. Goodnight from me :heart:

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Sounds like you haven’t had a lot of time to rest and take time to enjoy what you want or need? It makes to so happy to hear that you enjoyed putting a theme to Christmas and doing your makeup! Is that a part of the art you do?
Lack of sleep can be a huge mood killer and make any physical work even more exhausting. And by the sounds you’re doing a lot of physical work - Christmas, room makeover, art…
I’m sure there’s more to the list of every day things you’re doing too!

I’m sorry to hear that you’ve been discouraged when your friends don’t like your art. I can guarantee that there are plenty of people out there who would love to see it, but I can also understand that it could be daunting to put that work out there for others to see if you’ve received criticism.
Are you doing this work for the enjoyment of others more than yourself?

I hope you’ve been able to manage some rest and are feeling a bit more refreshed!

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Celebrations like Christmas can be exhausting! I remember it benig a nice time with family before, but also that it was very consuming. Socializing, preparing the dinner, checking in on people, the ambient activity… It’s easy to end up exhausted afterwards. I hope though that you’ve had a great Christmas and that New Year’s Eve is going to be amazing too. Make sure to rest as much as needed, to enjoy the process of preparing yourself, and not putting too much pressure on you. It is a time for celebration - not perfection. :wink:

Decluttering your room is also going to be super positive! Whenever there is a change in my physical environment, when I have more space and things are cleaner around me, it just brings a lot of peace again. I don’t have a lot belongings - kind of a minimalist in my own way - but we surely can collect a lot of things over time. It is refreshing to give away and declutter what we have from time to time, so we can focus on what is essential and bring us joy really.

As for your art, maybe scheduling a time weekly could be a way to start? I would also encourage you to alternate between drawings you would publish and others you wouldn’t. Just so you can ease a little bit your expectations in terms of being seen and getting likes on IG. Just to make sure that you keep drawing for you first and foremost, and find a fine balance between those two. Also, Instagram algorythm is completely messed up. Many artists have been complaining about it, because it makes their visibility decrease. The fact tht your friends don’t like your drawings can also be linked to the fact that they don’t see them sometimes. It’s frustrating… but it’s unfortunately how IG is with its magnificent randomness.

PS - I’ve just started to follow you there. Keep up the amazing work!

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I think that’s the case, it’s been nonstop and most of the rest I’ve had isn’t enough… But I also don’t want the holidays to end! Makeup used to be my main way of expressing myself, and to some extent it still is so I haven’t realized how much effort it takes to put on lol!

It does feel disappointing, and I wish I could get more likes/comments/feedback/positive encouragement. I put effort into my art and since I’ve only really had the chance to get back into it this year, I’d like to think I’ve made progress. On the flip side, my aunt who’s a fine arts major always sees it! I try to tell myself my artwork is for myself, but I feel the pressure of building a portfolio so in a way, I am pressured to always put my best work out there and I can only produce so much as a person.

Thank you for replying! I do feel much better and had to take a bit of a breather before I came back <3

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Yes in many ways the holiday season can be very fun and rewarding but also you don’t really get a “holiday” despite it’s name :joy: It was memorable for me and I’m proud of myself for the effort I’ve put in despite mostly not feeling it. I feel like I haven’t had enough time to re-energize adequately for New Year’s Eve (and dinner on the 1st :cold_sweat:) but I’m trying my best to not put pressure on myself. I’m inspired to start creative writing again too which is something I’m excited for. Things seem to be getting better again in my rollercoaster of a life!

I’m really excited to finish my room makeover for sure. It’s been months in the making, but I’ve got so much stuff collected over the years that everytime I declutter a space, there’s always a drawer or two with more stuff! Not to mention the garage. Some old items definitely brought back negative memories, but it only made me happier to throw them away.

I am inspired to make a schedule of tasks and work on something for around an hour. I’ve been so focused on making these projects and finished drawings to post on IG that I seem to have forgotten that I can just… sketch. Limiting myself to posting more also gave me less time to practice drawing new things. I have to keep reminding myself that I’m still basically starting out in my art career. It’s so daunting when I see people have exhibits or have thousands of likes. I hope I get there too. Also, thank you so much for following me!! It honestly means a lot for me and my art to be supported. I followed you back too!

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How hard is it to get back into busy life when there’s been holidays! It’s a different level of busy. Sometimes it can feel mundane.

I can see why comments from friends would hurt when you’ve been putting so much effort into your work. Maybe they think they’re being constructive but what you need is encouragement. Is there a way to maybe ask them the good things they enjoy about your art? And then if there’s different things they like you can play with those parts and experiment more too. Also I know art is viewed differently by people and so there’s people who are going to really feel so much aw about your art. It’s hard to feel that when you are finding it hard to find an audience I imagine?
Just as an example I have a friend who does makeup and they don’t do special effects kind of things. Every effect they do is just makeup and a lot of people comment how much “better” it would be if they used this and that, but personally I think it’s so much talent to make something have an effect without the added effects.
Is that the kind of pressure people are putting on you as well? I’d love to encourage you to keep doing your unique style and what you enjoy because there are and will be people who genuinely love what you have to offer and will appreciate the time and effort you put into it!

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I think it’s more the lack of comments that are kind of upsetting. I don’t expect super detailed comments or critiques. Like even though I know my aunt would have some suggestions, she just keeps it light and positive. Even those are appreciated. That’s a good idea though, I have always been curious about what my friends think but I never really knew how to ask them without sounding too insecure. I guess in a way, I am, and I’m not ashamed to say that. I think my upbringing and the people I was surrounded by throughout my life kind of stuck the idea in my head that I shouldn’t feel insecure. It’s almost like showing weakness, or that I’m begging for attention and desperate to be liked. So it’s a little embarrassing for me to admit that I wish people noticed my art more, but it is the truth.

I think I am a bit different than your friend in the example you shared (or maybe I’m not understanding it, my apologies if I misunderstood!) I think for me, because I think I’m just starting out and not really knowing how to build an audience or promote or share my page, I find that I rely more on the support I do have at the moment. It’s kinda like if you’re a kid and you wanna put on a show for your family, and they’re there, but they don’t really want to watch right now because they’re doing other things. Which is fine and I understand it, but it’s disheartening. It must be the pressure I put on myself that’s causing all these feelings. Like, I put so much effort into being a better artist, practicing drawing things that are difficult and putting out something new and different each time. I have faith that I will attract people who like my art, but it seems like a steep climb right now.

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