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I'm so hopeless

Hey, so I need some advice. I am 17 right now and for the past 5 years, my household has been nothing but toxic energy. I’m not sure if it’s my fault for being stubborn with my parents or what, but it seems like whatever I do, I can’t ever please my parents. I will admit, I can be hard to deal with sometimes. I get attitude and can always want the last word. However, I can’t even sit with my family for an hour at least without someone trying to make fun or mock the mistakes I make. It makes me hate myself because they make it seem like what I say or how I feel doesn’t matter at all. Anytime my parents and I fight, it gets pretty heated. To the point where they are cursing me out or until I’m on the brink of just exploding. They regularly make comments on how I’m not going to amount to anything, and that the way that I act is why my friends hate me. My dad has told me he hates me. They get my hopes up that I can go do things and follow my dreams in college, but when I actually get serious and want to do things to increase those chances, I get shot down and told that I should just quit because I won’t have time or the skills to actually accomplish the things I want to do.
My siblings on the other hand always seem to pop up whenever things get tough with my parents and me. Coincidently, they always seem to know when to say something or put their views on things. My parents also can’t seem to understand that I need privacy. They always seem to want to go through my phone, without me giving cause, or coming into my bedroom (my safe place) and going through things until they find something to get onto me about, and when I deny whatever it is they assume I’m lying.
I don’t know what to do anymore, I’ve considered running away for good but my dad controls my savings account, and I have nowhere else to go. I’m at a loss and quite frankly ready to just give up on myself for good.


Dang, I literally just wrote about the complete opposite. Its my siblings being the jerks, not my parents. My parents were so negative for so long. I stopped caring about it. My parents would whip me, yell at me, hit me, honestly just tear me apart, and I let it affect me for so long. I wanted to be bad, just because they expected me to. My siblings were no help, they’d just find stuff to give my parents to make them hate me even more. Im expected to achieve so much and Im here like, so when does my life become mine? I didn’t control anything, I had no say in anything, and I honestly gave up on everything. Until I realized I create my own value and happiness. I let my parents think what they want. They’d yell at me and Id take it. It hurt me before, and I stopped letting it. Dont let your parents put you down. When your parents say you wont amount to anything, tell them to stop treating you like a mirror. You are your own person and you create whatever life you want. You’ll get out of there soon enough, hang on! I know it seems never ending, trust me, I KNOW. Its such a toxic environment, I honestly do not know how I learned to love myself. I really dont. But self love is the most important and amazing thing you can work for right now. Stop caring about people opinions and live for yourself. I hope it gets better, Ill pray for you. Feel free to reach out! I know, I know, Im 16, I got not idea what im talking about, but ayy, I’ve been there too. Technically im still there, just trynna beat this one step at a time.


What a coincidence? That’s also what’s happening in my house except my mom is invading my privacy. So, I can understand that. I hate when Hell breaks loose in my house.