So for a little backstory, I’m 19 and was diagnosed with Crohn’s Disease when I was 15/16. It ended up causing me to have to do online schooling, which only exponentially increased my already poor mental health. But I’m at a point now where all I do is sleep or sit on my computer. I don’t know what to do anymore. I go to a counselor but lately I’ve been missing a lot of appointments for that and my medical appointments due to my anxiety. At this point I feel like I’m just not going to do anything with my life. I was going to college classes for a little bit, but had to drop them due to my stomach issues, which makes me feel even more like a disappointment. I’m just so lost in life and I don’t know what to do. There are nights where I just cry myself to sleep. I’m not good at all with talking to people, so I can’t even open up to my counselor. It also doesn’t help that I bottle up all my emotions, so eventually they will all blow out and I feel like I’ll do something I will regret.
First off, thank you so much for sharing your troubles. I can assure you that you are not alone in your struggles. Although I haven’t experienced your situation first hand, I can empathize with how you’re feeling as I’ve seen my mother go through similar experience with her diagnoses with Crohn’s Disease. It can be a hardship knowing that it keeps you from living your life the way you normally would.
I’ve seen my mother quit several jobs because she was feeling unwell. She started falling into a depression because she felt the same helplessness that you currently do.
I highly advise attempting to keep your medical appointments the best that you possibly can. That will be the first step into progressing into feeling a little better. As for your therapy appointments, I would possibly advise thinking of it like someone to talk to. Have a conversation with them about how things are. Opening up for everyone can be incredibly difficult but no one will be upset at you for taking baby steps.
Things will get better. One thing at a time.