I'm so lost in my life

I don’t know what to do anymore, sorry this might be a bit long. I have been trying my entire life to measure up to everyone in my life, I know I shouldn’t but I do. I never finished my degree and my husband is now about to finish his PhD. I work at a phone center and it is SOUL SUCKING, I absolutely abhor it. I have been trying and trying to find a new job and I have found nothing. I have 15 applications in everywhere and no bites. I go to work miserable everyday. My high functioning anxiety and depression don’t help either. I’m so scared and I’m searching for a purpose. All my family have a purpose, a career, a degree something that they’ll probably dedicate the rest of their lives to. I don’t, I have no direction. I’m lost I have no idea what I’m doing with my life and it scares me that I will never find that. That I’ll never be good enough to take care of my family. I’ll just be aimlessly hopping jobs hoping that maybe someday something will work out and I’ll finally figure out what I want to do, to be. I am lost y’all and that terrifies me. I’ve tried turning to God and I feel like he’s not listening as much as I cry and scream and beg for some help or a sign that things will get better. I see no end in sight and it is killing me slowly.

First of all, I’m from germany, so don’t care about by bad English:)
Don’t give up. I’ve been struggling for about 15 years now because of my anciety, of course sometimes paired with depression. It’s an up and down. Trying out different medicine and so on.
But, sometimes it’s good not to give a fuck. You have husband, thats very nice. Your family members are in great jobs? So what?! Don’t care about what othet people do. At the end of the day it’s only important what you feel and do. Try out new things to find your peace in life. Writing some sentences at the end of the day, what was good. Maybe try out a therapy? It helped me a lot the last two years when i find an therapist who helped me with his ideas.
Lyrics help me a lot so i want you to read this. Dont know if it’s your type of music but the lyrics and what the singer says to it, is so great

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Hey friend,

Thank you so much for posting, first of all. Thank you for sharing your story.

Here’s the thing. You’re not alone. Everyone is constantly trying to figure out what to do with their lives. So many people look like they have everything together from the outside, but in reality they’re searching just like you and me and so many other people. It’s okay that you’re not where you want to be right now. I know it must suck, but there will be opportunities for change. That is a promise. The first thing I would suggest trying to stop doing is comparing your life to others’ lives. Everybody has different skills, talents, strengths, and weaknesses. And everybody’s life looks different from the outside, so there’s no use in comparing. It will only worsen your mental health and self confidence. Trust me, I know how hard it is to stop comparing, but I would encourage you to try to focus on that more.

I feel you. I really do. It can feel like this sometimes, even for long stretches of time. But I promise you, with true faith, hope, and perseverance, God will pull through. He has a plan and a purpose for everything. Often times, He doesn’t answer our prayers in the way that we want or the way we expect, but He always does. At least that’s my belief. I hope this encourages you.

Thank you again for sharing. Things will get better. There is an end to every storm. Hold fast, we believe in you.

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Hey @Thelostwanderer,
say whatever you want to say, it doesn’t matter if it’s pages long.
You are the most important person in your life, the only person you should be trying to measure up to is your best self. And that isn’t a reflection of your husband or anyone else. You don’t owe them anything, you don’t have to. As long as we know in our minds who we are, we won’t change ourselves. YOU are enough.
Keep hope. I believe in you. You know yourself, you will make a path for yourself.
You can’t trust fear. Remember that, and don’t let your fear control you.
We love you, and we’re here. You are not alone.

Stay strong <3

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Sometimes in the middle of the storms of life, it can seem like God has abandoned us. That we are all alone. Especially when, like you said, you’ve kept trying to find a new job, but with no such luck. When everyone around you seems to have found their “niche” with a job and purpose, and there you sit. Wondering when things will get better. Wondering if they ever will. These times can be so, so hard, friend. I want to say that your feelings matter. You matter. Things don’t look good right now. But, trust me on this, God is with you in this. You may not be able to see Him. You may even want to turn your back on Him cause it seems like He’s turned his back on you. But he’s with you. He is your only hope. Cling to him, even when you can’t see the good. Because He is good. Even when life is not. Seek out His beauty in the mundane, the everyday, in your heartache, in your pain. He is there. He hasn’t left you.

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