Im so lost

I’ve been having a rough year. i lost my job two weeks ago over a bs claim and its really messed me up. i’m feeling like a letdown since im the only one making money in my relationship. Somedays i wonder why i’m even married cause i have to constantly remind my husband to do simple tasks. I feel like a failure cause my house is falling apart and i have no degree or anything positive in my life to show for it. I have three kids and one on the way. Not sure if im hormonal cause of that but i did ask the dr to up my meds a bit to see if that helps. Ive been struggling to sleep at night and wonder if its all worth it to just not wake up. Then i think about if im gone who will take care of my kids like i do. I just wish my life would stop throwing me curveballs. i’m broke,worthless and in debt over my head.

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Welcome to Heart Support. I’m sorry that you’re going to such an awful experience. Upping your meds might help, but you have more than enough reason to feel down, other than “being hormonal.” Being pregnant, having three children, loss of employment and inadequate sleep, is plenty of reason for you feeling as you do.

Is it possible that your husband is depressed? Forgetfulness is one of the symptoms. Is there any kind of counseling available for you and your husband? It also sounds as though you might benefit from some form of public financial assistance.

You might be broke, but you are far from worthless. You have been working while keeping your family together, maybe not perfectly, but still heroically. Sometimes, the curveballs lead to unexpected opportunities.

I hope your situation improves. Please check back in with us, and let us know how you’re doing.

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i’m sure he is depressed but he never tells me. he’s gained so much weight and now he is trying to lose that weight again. we do need to go through marriage counseling. I have a job interview on Monday so we’ll see how that goes. i’m not sure what kind of financial assistance i can get. we are on snap and wic as it is, Since i’m the only one working and i come home and have to help with chores and cooking. He has been getting better on that aspect recently. Before it was me doing every chore and cooking meals as soon as i get off of work and feeling like i have no down time.

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Heypinkgamingg!

Megs_26 responded to your post today live on stream with some wonderful words of support.

Here is a link to the video so you can se her reply!

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From: ᏒᎧᏕᎥᏋ (Discord)

Hi Pinkgamingg It was nice to meet you in the stream this morning! When our bodies go thru pregnancy, our hormones go nutz. There is a lot of anxiety and worry that comes with it. I’m sorry that your husband isn’t pulling his weight, it sucks. My x husband spent most of our marriage in the garage playing with is hobbies and draining our savings. My son went thru 2 surgeries before he was 10 and I got very little help from him. You’re doing the best you can and it sounds to me that you are a wonderful, loving mother. It’s so complicated when children are involved, but I was married for almost 18yrs and for the last 6yrs I didn’t want to be with him, but stayed for my son. That was a mistake and if I could do it over and leave when I first wanted to, my life would be less complicated. So, just a thought.

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From: eloquentpetrichor (Discord)

Welcome pinkgamingg! I’m glad you are here and sharing your story with us. Pregnancy definitely can create all kinds of feelings inside of you that you might not otherwise feel but that doesn’t mean they aren’t important feelings or things you should ignore. I can understand how frustrating it is to live with someone who doesn’t pull their weight with chores. I know you say you have to remind him to do chores but, have you told him recently how it makes you feel that he doesn’t help more? Maybe make a list of everything you do and everything he does so that he can see the discrepancy visually. I’m sorry you are struggling financially but you are anything but worthless. And you have a family and kids who love you so you are not completely broke at least in that sense. I hope you find some way to get your husband to help out more and that you manage to find some happiness in your life and your family. Stay strong :hrtlegolove:

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From: SuchBlue (Discord)

Hi @pinkgamingg, I am very sorry that you are feeling like this. It’s time that you start seeing what is throwing you curveballs in your life and start removing that from your life. It is perfectly okay that you feel let down but that does not mean that you are worthless at all. Honestly it is very irresponsible of your husband to put zero input to the family and you shall at least make him aware of all the things that you are going through. Be transparent with what you’re going through but keep yourself encouraged to cope with all that is happening in your life. You at least have love from us, so in terms of that you are very rich. Do not give up and keep going until things get better! I believe in you :hrtlegolove:

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From: Lisalovesfeathers (Discord)

Hi Friend, Thank you so much for your post, Welcome to Heart support my name is Lisa and I am so glad you have come here to share your story with us and I hope that you find being here some of some help. It sounds like you are really going through it and I am so sorry about that. The main thing that stands out from your post to me is how down on yourself that you are and that is so sad to me. I understand that you are in a difficult situation, being in debt with 3 children, having a husband that isn’t as supportive as you would like or need and the worry of bringing another child into the world must be such a huge worry but I have yet to see where you are to blame for this or where you have failed. All I see is someone doing there best, trying hard and things just not falling into place. I am glad that you are seeing a good doctor who is supportive. Could you also maybe look into finding a charity based organisation that will help you to consolidate your debt, In England its called the Citizens Advice Bureau, they are very helpful. Whatever you do please know that you are not a failure and you are not worthless. You have are valuable and very very special. Much Love Lisa

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