I’m so fucked up right now! My friend just hit me hard! Now I want to end it all with what I have. I just can’t do this anymore. I know I am 9 days clean… but what he just said… I just can’t take that I want to OD and just end it all and get it over with so I don’t have to deal with this shit anymore… my mom and sister and so I don’t have to deal with the withdrawals. I’m just so fucked up right now. I don’t think I can hang in there. I wish I was more positive right now but my friend just threw me to where I’m not happy again… I just don’t know anymore. I just don’t know. I’m addicted to the drugs… I can never stop thinking of using them or Overdosing on them to get it over with and never having to deal with things again. So I feel like shit right now. I just want to go back and use again. I just want to forget the whole sobriety thing and then go up there and be with Moses as simple as that. I just can’t anymore, I just can’t! It’s so fucking hard for me to just deal with things!
I’m so sorry for what you are going through right now…
Even though I may not be able to help you directly, I would like to offer my hope to you.
I understand the feeling when someone says something that puts you in an uncomfortable place.
I don’t think you’re messed up at all. This may be a dark time in your life, however I truly hope it gets better for you.
I really believe you can get through it!
Thanks, it’s a real big struggle right now
It makes sense to be tempted to relapse, but you are stronger than this urge.
I want to encourage you to look back at your posts and see the efforts you’ve been dedicated to your recovery, also how much you don’t want to get back to how you’ve felt 9 days ago. Relapse can feel like a quick and needed fix but you can go through that moment without any drug and without hurting yourself. You know what is healthy and right for you, not just for an instant, but in the long run. Don’t let this voice telling you that a relapse would be the solution having the last word, even if it seems very real and convincing.
I believe in you. Please don’t hesitate to reach out to your support groups during this time. You are not alone right now.
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