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I'm so scared of everything


#1

My boyfriend has some major mental stuff going on, and I don’t know how to handle it. I love him so much, but I’m scared. He keeps second-guessing himself and “hears a voice” telling him that I’m just using him. Whenever he feels this way, I make him tell me everything it tells him and prove it wrong, but sometimes it scares me. My boyfriend doesn’t want to believe the voice, but sometimes he does. On Friday, he dislocated his knee and may have also torn 2 ligaments. I’m doing the best I can to be there for him, but he keeps telling me the voice keeps getting stronger. I don’t know what to do. My mom is also becoming more present in my life now. I had a school concert I was performing in, and she showed unannounced. She also gave me a dead fish’s head with the spine hanging out of it. She also wouldn’t let me go see my great-grandfather on his 90th birthday without trying to pull a scene. Since the fish thing, I haven’t slept, that was almost 2 weeks ago. I’m so scared of everything. My boyfriend may need surgery, and I have to deal with a psyco mother. I try to talk to my dad, and he just makes a scene about it. I also have to deal with a teacher that won’t put my grades into the system and just leaves them as 0%. I have to redo a marking period worth of work just to pass English class. My teacher blames it on me being in track, but how could you blame it on something you don’t believe I was in? He also insulted my boyfriend in front of me. I told the principal, and the teacher was meaner to me. I also had to deal with a lot of bullying more often. I don’t want to go to school, but I do for my friends and boyfriend. I have a hard time in my classes now too. I’m just so scared of everything. I don’t know what to do anymore. I was in just a good place too. I had gotten into a part-time school for auto collision repair, I had my bot\yfriend, and I was doing so well in track, but everything just came crashing down on me again. I’m so scared…


#2

Thank you for sharing and reaching out on here. You are in a tough spot and sounds like you’re under a ton of different pressures. I hope that you have someone in your life who you can reach out to when you feel overwhelmed or not safe. Please feel free to reach out on here whenever you need to! We care about you and want to help where we can. You are important and you deserve to feel safe :yellow_heart:


#3

Hi, I know you’re scared. I know it feels like everything is collapsing in on you and like there’s nothing you can do to stop it. You will be okay, I promise. If your boyfriend knows not to believe this voice, then it’s not your sole responsibility to be the one fighting it: that is his fight. You can do your best to support him in that (Which you are doing an amazing job at), but he needs to be the one to tell this voice to leave him alone. If your mom is trying to get a reaction out of you, do not give it to her. You are not a plaything or a doll that she can control, you are your own person. If you turned in assignments, trust that they’ll get put in the system. You put in the work and there’s nothing to worry about beyond that, you’ve done your part.

Life comes in seasons. This season of difficulty and uncertainty is shaping you into the person you will be in your next season. Pain can only make us stronger, and you’re doing great. Take a deep breath and move forward and know that we are proud of you.
You are loved. You matter.

Hang in there friend,
Jaden


#4

I’m so sorry for everything you are going through. It sounds so awful. I wish that I had more to offer you that could be helpful but I’m at a loss of words. It sounds like your boyfriend is having a lot of trust issues and it’s really bringing you down. Maybe taking some time to focus on you, school, track and your own thing may be the healthier option right now. A relationship can’t thrive if there is no trust.
I’m not sure if sitting him down and talking to him about it will help or not. But maybe you can just set some healthy standards in your relationship. Explain to him that you care for him deeply but need him to trust you if it’s going to work. And if he can’t do that…

I’m sorry you are having a hard time with your mom. I have a very toxic mother who causes me a lot of stress. So I can somewhat relate. The only difference is, I cut off contact with mine and won’t associate with her. She’s too hurtful. I hope that you can find some resolve there. I know how hard it can be.

Stay strong my friend. I know right now it probably feels like that’s very difficult, but if you have any friends or a therapist that you can trust at all, I recommend you turning to them to talk to. We are here to support you along the way my friend.