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Im so sick of this

ive never used this website before and im not sure how it works but i don’t know what else to do
i have no one to talk to
it’s not that I don’t have friends, it’s that I feel like they don’t particularly care
plus I don’t want to be a burden
anyways
the issue is that i just don’t like being alive. im never satisfied with anything. nothing is ever good enough, and there isn’t really anything I genuinely enjoy doing. everything stresses me out and im always on edge and stressed out feeling. i can’t relax.
i always keep myself really busy because I feel like i have to, but I enjoy none of it. maybe im just negative I don’t know. i wish I could just feel happy for once. this life feels meaningless, i wish i was never born.
another thing
ive grown to be irritable all the time. people bother me so much no matter what they do or say. everything just annoys me. which makes me bottle up my feelings even more because talking to people is difficult for me.
i doubt anyone will ever read this but that doesn’t matter. nothing matters anyways

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Well your wrong I did read it and your not alone I often feel this same way and its hard to even be in my own skin at times. Get yourself a journal and write in it every night jot down exactly how you are feeling that day good days and bad just let it all out in that journal it really helped me… Plz dont ever give up beautiful💗

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@noenergy,

Welcome! I’m glad you found this community and I hope it will help you to feel less alone. Thank you so much for being here. :two_hearts:

It’s not an easy thing to share about what’s going on in your life, especially when you feel a bit lost and overwhelmed. Your message is important and what you’re facing right now, the things you described, are important. Your voice matters. You matter.

About what you said concerning your friends: do you think they really wouldn’t care or is it the fear of being a burden that makes you think this? When we feel vulnerable, we can be tempted to believe some of those lies we’re used to tell ourselves, such as: “I don’t deserve to be helped”, “I’m worthless”, “No one cares about me”. It can be hard to stay objective but I’d like to encourage you to think about it without taking those fears into account. Reaching out should be based on your current needs, on how your relationships are and what you know about your friends. If it happens that they wouldn’t be supportive at all, then know that you still have friends here in this community and you can come anytime you need. We care about you. Please don’t forget this. :heart:

Based on what you shared, it sounds that you’re dealing with a lot of stress and anxiety. I struggle with this as well and there was a moment in my life when it came to the point of being strongly intertwined with a depression. Just to be clear: we’re not doctors and we all share from our personal experiences here. But those things you described: being stressed all the time, being unable to relax, not enjoying anything and having this need to be busy all the time… I could have written the exact same thing a few years ago. The second I woke up every morning, I was already anxious. Always thinking about all the things I had to do. And it was a vicious circle. Because as I wasn’t able to relax, and trying to do so made me feel uncomfortable or even more stressed, I was always looking after new things to do. I needed to stay occupied. But never enjoyed anything.

Good news is that you can work on this, on how to manage all of this stress. It implies to learn how to let things go, how to relax in a way that is meaningful to you. There are concrete ways to learn this on a daily basis and to receive some help from a professional such as a therapist can be welcomed in these circumstances. Because it’s not about who you are deep inside but about what you can actually do to find some purpose again in your life. And the way you’ll take care of yourself is highly important, which includes working on all of this stress. It’s not inevitable. But unfortunately dealing with so much stress all the time can have a huge impact on your mental health. When you end to say “I wish I was never born”, it’s the sign that it’s time to find a new strategy. And seeking for help, from people who love you and from professionals is your right entirely.

Maybe as a first step you can take a look at the resources that are already available on HS: https://heartsupport.com/resources/

Sending much love your way. :heart:

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