Over the last few months my life has just been falling apart. I’ve lost people that are close to me, I had to leave the only place that ever felt like home to me and my dream just seems to be more out of reach every day no matter how hard I try. I’ve just been depressed and having panic attacks and feeling immense anxiety all the time. I’m so tired. I’m tired of fighting my own mind everyday, I’m tired of this life. I wish I couldn’t feel a damn thing anymore. I’m tired of having to look out for myself all the time because I never learned that I could trust anyone else to do so. I’m fighting, and I’m really trying to get better but I just keep losing and I just need a win to keep going. Just something, anything, some sort of inspiration that helps me to keep going. I’m so tired of this weight on my shoulders, I feel like a failure, I’m worthless and it just feels like its never going to get better. I want my life to mean something, to have purpose but all I can see myself as is a burden and a waste of space. I’ve been depressed and struggling before but this time around it just seems so much darker than it was ever before.
Hey, I know quite good how you feel. I read that point multiple times.
It‘s important that you don‘t give up, that you continue fighting because you will see the light at the end of the tunnel again. Nobody knows how long it will take but you will see it again. There is only the question whether you think this time is worth to wait and there I can tell you it definitely is worth to wait. Today or tomorrow your dream seems so far away but maybe next week, next month or in a few month you will be closer to your dream. Continue working to make your dream become true. You will regret it if you give up now because your dream is still a dream. Continue working it is worth.
I am just since 1-2 weeks part of this community but I learnt how helpful it is and that we all are to support each other to take some weight off your shoulders. You aren‘t a waste of space, you deserve to live, to make your dream become true. You deserve to be loved and get support when you need it. This community is definitely willing to support you and all others here too.
Stay strong and take care!
Hey @murph1102 ,
Thank you for being so open about what you’ve been facing. It’s hard to find the will to keep pursuing what we love when it seems as though no progress is or will ever be made. It sounds like you’ve been fighting these thoughts and feelings for quite a while and that takes it’s toll to be sure. That being said, I think it’s important to recognize the fact that you have not once stopped fighting. Even though its tiring and you’ve been feeling like there’s no point in continuing to chase your dream with feelings of hopelessness and that inner critic saying you’re worthless and a failure on repeat, you keep fighting. Just in what you’ve shared here I can tell you’re a very strong person. Like @Zicke576 said, although no one knows how long achieving this dream will take, it is worth the fight.
Can I ask what your dream is?
Hello Dear One,
I want to thank you for posting on the HeartSupport Wall and allowing us to come alongside you to support and encourage you. I am so sorry that life has given you some cards that aren’t ideal, but I believe that you can use those cards to your benefit. I know how it feels to be tired. I know how it feels to be overwhelmed. I know how to feel “less than.”
I believe that you have what it takes to rise above all of the grey clouds and low valleys. There has to be a reason why you continue to fight and keep going. I encourage you to find something that brings you joy, even if it is something small. Find a new hobby. Go for walks to enjoy the sunshine, the birds and whatever kind of nature you can find.
You are worth it. You are enough. You are valid. You are worthy. You are strongth. You matter. 
From: ᏒᎧᏕᎥᏋ
Hi Friend Welcome to the forum. I’m so sorry you’re feeling so down on yourself and feeling so worthless. You’re not worthless tho, you are a beautiful human being and you’re not alone. I hope you will see this somehow because it’s so true. You are accepted and welcome here ~Mystrose
From: Dark Weeb 666 (Matt)
Hi murph1102. Welcome to Heartsupport. Let me give you a big hug 
. Depression, panic attacks, anxiety… It seem like you have a lot to deal with. I am so sorry you are struggling. Have you tried therapy of any kind or medication. Those can really help. It is definitely worth a try. It might really change your life. 
From: Lisalovesfeathers
Hi Friend, welcome to Heartsupport, Thank you for your post, I am so sorry you are having such a rough time. I can relate to how difficult you are finding things right now, I have lived with depression and anxiety for many years on and off and it can be so very hard at times and I want you to know that its not all loss friend there is gain in it. there are times when it feels like there is no light at the end of that tunnel but I promise you there is but you have to look for it, you have to spot that tiny light and reach for it and that’s not easy when you feel tired and low but that is when you have to try your hardest and if you cant, ask for help friend because you deserve to find happiness. we are here for you if you need us, anytime. Much Love lisa. x
From: eloquentpetrichor
Welcome to the community murph1102!! I’m sorry you have been dealing with all of this and you feel like your life is spiraling. I know exactly how you feel and it really is so exhausting. But no matter how exhausting it is to feel these things and deal with them than to shut off your emotions and feel nothing. I know it is tempting but trust me it is not a good path.
I wish I could say more to help you. But all I can do is give you a virtual ghost hug and say thank you for sharing what you are feeling. I hope to see you around. Good luck and keep swimming 
From: SuchBlue
Hi murph1102, welcome to the forum!
A lot of people go through what you’re going through right now, it is very common and you shouldn’t feel alone. You have a lot to deal with and I’m really glad that you decided to share with us what you’re feeling, so thank you for that
Just know that there are people who want to support you and love you hope you feel better soon, you can do this
Hey @murph1102,
I’d love to hear some updates from you if you happen to read this message. You were going through such a rough time, with so many hurtful thoughts running through your mind. There is a life beyond depression and anxiety, even if there are times when it’s really hard to see it. We are in this with you. Willing to support you all along. You’re not alone.
Hi @Micro ,
thanks so much for checking in. Honestly it just feels like it won’t ever get better. I’m trying, I really am, but I just can’t see a light at the end of the tunnel. I’m so tired of having to fight and having to be strong, it just feels so pointless and I just can’t see how things could possibly change for the better. I really want to believe that I can get better but the more time goes by the more I loose faith that I can. I’m just tired of this weight on my shoulders.
Thank you for these updates, @murph1102. I am really grateful. Although so very sorry that life is still so heavy for you. Sending you all the virtual hugs.
You’ve mentioned anxiety and depression before - are these things you have the possibility to discuss with a counselor or therapist? Or even just a doctor? From my humble experience, anxiety and depression to me started to seem manageable once I have started to create a support system in my life. No one deserves to face this on their own, and that includes you. It honestly makes sense to feel like losing faith when you are alone in this and feeling crushed by it every single day. The more we feel controlled by our struggles, the less hope there seems to be. I promise you that there is hope though, even if it’s really hard to see it right now.
- What does your support system look like right now?
- What’s in this weight that you are carrying on your shoulders? What are the major obstacles in your life right now?
I hope these questions are not too intrusive. I’m willing to listen and understand more your situation, also your story - IF you feel comfortable to share more of course. This is an invitation, not an obligation. You’re not alone.
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