I’m in high school, and things have been extremely stressful lately. I have so much homework to do and it’s really hard for me to be able to do it all within the time I need to. Right now I have to write an entire essay, and do trig homework, and then work on a project that’s due on Wednesday. The essay is for honors english which my grade is low in this quarter, and the project is for Global History which I’ve been struggling to keep my grade up to a 90 which I need to get into APUSH.
It’s so stupid because I keep making things harder on myself too. I’m going to be in two AP classes next year, along with an extracurricular class that I get graded for, and German, which is a completely new language to me, that I only switched to because I need to know German if I’m going to college in Germany. My friend said that it’s not as hard as I think it’s going to be, but I’m so stressed out because I have so much to do and not enough time to do it and I’m so scared of failing. I need to get into this college or else I don’t have any other plans.
What doesn’t help even more is disordered plurality getting in the way. We worked for years to get to a point where the amnesia barriers between us weren’t as big of a problem anymore, and so that we’d be able to function in life, but now it’s getting worse again. We’re stress splitting with full amnesia, and our internal communication is absolutely horrible, so getting schoolwork done is absolutely terrible to do. We’ve been losing stuff for classes because someone will put it somewhere and not tell anyone. It’s exhausting and so hard to manage every day.
I kind of just wish that I could get everything done without this stress. It’s not a good kind of stress, it’s just making me tired and sad and burnt out, and I don’t know what to do. I’m out of therapy because my therapist left the practice, and I haven’t been able to get anyone new, so I don’t have anyone to help me anymore. I’m just kind of alone and really stressed and I don’t even know how to manage it anymore.
That’s a whole lot you have there on your plate! I’m so sorry that you’re confronted with such a high level of stress and that your mental health is suffering from it. I’m so glad you’re reaching out and sharing with us what’s on your heart. You’re not alone. We’re here for you.
Mental health comes first on the priority list, not school. Since you wrote about how the stress doesn’t only make you suffer but its effects on splitting make it even impossible to get schoolwork done, I guess you’re already aware that you need to put your mental health first and reduce the level of stress you’re facing.
I totally understand this phenomenon of this one idea or maybe even dream that it must be, but, in fact, this is black-and-white thinking. It’s not all or nothing. There are plenty of opportunities. It’s absolutely okay to have dreams and to fight for them, but I’d encourage you to find a hand full of alternatives that wouldn’t be bad either, just give it some thought. This will help you to worry less about potential consequences, reduce your stress levels, and allow you to focus on what is important - and this the here and now. Worrying only consumes your energy, puts you in a negative mindset, and stresses you out, but you have to give your mind something to calm down.
So about the here and now:
Top priorities: Rest isn’t a reward but the foundation for productivity. It is a must to plan for breaks and put them into your schedule. Also, self-care has to find a place there, especially those things that helped you with the splitting in the past. It’s also important to take breaks so that your brain can memorize what you learned and recharge.
Schoolwork: Are there any techniques you could use to optimize your studying habits? If that’s a thing: How often do you check social media or get distracted otherwise? As to priorities regarding your homework: What is most important, what could be manageable with minimum effort? Is there anything you can cut down on?
Could you still try to find a new therapist or at least some kind of support, maybe at your school? Is there a counselor?
I’d love to see you chase your dreams, but first of all I’d like you to be healthy. In the long run, taking care of our mental health will pay off, but trying to ignore it won’t work. Our problems always will come back until we face them and work on them. Maybe some of my suggestions are helpful to you. You’re loved and valued. You matter, and so does your mental health.
Hi TheRats I am sorry that you are giong through so much sterss. School is too mcuh stress and it should not be that way. I am gonna send you a link the the community resources on Heartsupport. There is a part that deals with stress and how to cope with it. I hope it helps you HeartSupport Community Resources - Google Sheets
You have a lot of thoughts and worries going on in your head and sometimes there’s even that regret and already that thought that you’ve failed and lost everything. Life is more than just school and work but sometimes we get too carried away with it. Take a break when you feel like you need to, if you try to plan your time better things might improve at least a little bit. While you might not have any other plans now, life always has something new to offer. There’s nothing wrong with giving yourself more challenges - they’re definitely possible and with enough work anyone can do them. There’s no need to feel guilty when you need to stop, take a deep breath and refresh your brain. I hope that you can find some another way of support to replace your therapist, and I wish you luck with everything
Hello, TheRats! You sure have a lot going on right now. I’m sorry school is so difficult for you right now. The best advice I can give about your stress is to allow yourself some time to relax. Even though you have a lot you need to do you need to give yourself small breaks to just breathe and relax as well so that you don’t burn out.
To help with your plurality making school even more difficult I have a couple thoughts. What if you have a voice recorder going and you record yourself commentating so that you can play it back. Sort of like making an external communication exist to help with your internal communication being bad. You could also try writing down what you are doing on a whiteboard so that when you switch you can read what the other wrote about where you put things or what you were working on. I’m sorry if these are bad suggestions. I’m afraid I don’t know much about plurality so I may be missing the mark on things that might help.
Have you heard about the Action Groups in the HeartSupport Discord? They are small support groups to help with reaching goals and dealing with stress in your life. It sounds like joining one may be helpful to you for getting through school and finding ways to manage your time. I hope you check it out in case you think it could help.
I wish you all the best and I hope you manage to keep yourself from being too stressed out. And remember that if your plans don’t work out there are infinite more possibilities out there. Good luck, friend