tw - self harm
i really really want to self harm, and im not sure why? i dont know what to do about it and the only thing really holding me back is the scarring that’ll happen, i dont know if its my medication or what is it, it might just be because of my parents and the situation right now but im not doing well and i feel really close to relapse.
Hi @graciee
I’m really sorry that you’re having urges to self harm. Remember that an urge is not a “have to” and that you have a choice. The good thing about an urge is that it will become less intense over a little bit of time if you ride it out. There is a coping skill I’ve learned in therapy called Urge Surfing. I’ll give you some info on it and I hope it will help.
If you really think it can be your meds, talking to your doctor is a good idea and if you’d like to write about what’s going on with your parents we’re here to listen. 
Here is a good site on Urge Surfing.
And here is a wonderful guided meditation you can also try.
From: twixremix
hi graciee,
thank you for your transparency and vulnerability on what you were feeling and going through a few days back. how are you doing today? i know you made another post a day ago about relapsing but wanted to return to this post specifically so i can offer support for pre-self harm to avoid any future relapses. i hope you were able to look into the resources mystrose sent over; urge surfing is a new concept to me but learning more about it helped me manage my own behavior and addictions.
i hope you can provide an update on how you’re feeling right now and if there’s anything you’d like to talk through to help ease those self harm urges in the future. you mention your parents being a factor - what’s happening there? all in all, please know you are incredibly loved, valued, and worthy. i hope you can spend some time soon caring for yourself whether it be watching your favorite shows/movies, going on a nice walk if the weather is good, or eating your favorite meal. sure, it sounds like basic advice but you truly deserve any and all happiness this world can offer so hold fast because a better tomorrow is ahead. i look forward to hearing from you soon, my friend!
love,
twix
Hello there,
I know that you posted since this post, but I want to let you know that you are not alone at this moment. I see you. I know the pain you are going through. I watched so many of my loved ones go through what you are going through right now. Life can have its lows, but it can also have its high moments too. Find someone that you trust that you can lean on & trust with your thoughts. Tell them what you are thinking & feeling. Sometimes, we just need someone that we can be ourselves with. We live in a world where we have to always be careful & be on our guard, but we also need at least one person that we can let down our guard.
Have courage to face each day with power & strength. Be kind to yourself when you have low moments throughout your day. Give yourself grace. Find joy in the big & the small moments. You are worth it all.
You are valid. You are enough. You are important. You are strong. You matter.
-StarFox 
Hey Graciee,
I am very, very sorry to hear that you are struggling with this. I ready your recent post about relapse, and want to tell you, that you absolutely matter. It is obvious that you care about this, coming here to talk about it, and trying to distance yourself from the tools used. I am sorry to hear that there doesn’t seem to be professional help that you have access to.
With not having any local professionals available to you… do you have a friend, family member, or parent you trust enough to confide in about this? One that you could come to when the urges get too strong, and let them hold onto your tools? Or at least talk you through the hardest times? I know that may be a big ask. But if that is what helps you get through the hardest urges, maybe that would be easier than trying to face this alone, in the long run. You came to us and were vulnerable, can you do that with a friend/family member, too?
You are loved, and you absolutely matter. Each day will be it’s own struggle, and I truly hope that it becomes easier for you, friend.