I'm terrified of dying and it is all around me

My sister died in a car accident Tuesday. My grandparents have died, but it was something they had going on and we knew quite a bit ahead of time. It’s the other deaths. A brother committed suicide when he was 15. Two siblings died suddenly related to alcoholism. She was in her 30s and he was 44. I have panic attacks on this topic. I didn’t grow up with any faith and have no solid beliefs about what happens after we die, but that isn’t what is driving me crazy. It is the fear that people might know they are dying and they are afraid in the those last moments. I wonder if the brain sends out chemicals to make you feel good about it. I know your brain is still conscious for about 7 minutes after you die. This only makes me feel worse. I just don’t want my loved ones to have suffered in those last seconds. I think I am putting my own person fears on their story. Every health professional I ask tells me my brother who died of a sudden fatal cardiac arrhythmia probably blacked out before he knew what was happening. But I think they are just trying to make me feel better. I am aware all day of all the things that can happen to us and we never come home. No fault of your own. A weird aneurysm you didn’t know about, drunk driver. I can’t turn it off. I was an RN on an oncology unit and managed an animal shelter, so I’ve been around a lot of death and some really weird stories. I would like one day to go by where I didn’t think of me or someone else dying.


I’m so sad to hear about your siblings deaths. It’s a tragedy when someone dies so young. To answer your question, I have read that our brains release all of our stores up hormone called oxytocin when we die. It’s the hormone that makes us feel loved. If anything the last thing a person feels is an immense amount of love. I hope this helps.


Knowing that does help, thank you.

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