I’ve talked to people about my problems, and it always ends with I have to change, and then it’s im not changing quick enough for people. I haven’t fixed my depression yet. I still need to change, and fix my life. I can’t change everything without help, and im not getting it from my family. They just yell at me then say they care about me. Nothing i change is good enough for them, they don’t care that im trying to change for the better, im giving it my all its just not enough, and i feel like giving up. Im lost overwhelmed, and just want to die. I just keep letting everyone down, so I might as well do it one more time, give in kill myself and be over it all.
I’m so sorry that you feel that alone my friend, but I want you to know that you’re not. From reading your post, it sounds like you want to feel better and thats what matters. The people around you can’t define the time frame it takes for you to heal. Trust me I know from experience, how much taking baby steps sucks and doesn’t feel useful or like its working but you eventually reach a point where you look back and see how much progress you’ve actually made. I want you to know that the answer you are considering is not an answer at all. Its a permanent solution to a temporary problem. You should never feel like you have to trade your life for happiness, whether it be your happiness, or the belief that it will make those around you happy. I urge you to continue reaching out to those who believe in you and want to help. Continue posting on this forum, try to seek out therapy if possible. I know Heart Support has a free trial with Better Help, which is online therapy if thats a better option. Also, I don’t know the link, but I recommend ordering a copy of Dwarf Planet from Heart Support. Its a book on overcoming depression, and if money is an issue, they will send you a free copy, no strings attached. Stay strong my friend. This too shall pass.
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Hey Andrew,
first i want to say : YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
I can only speak from my position, but to much change can even be lose yourself.
Try little steps which a good to arive.
My family can and could never talk about my depression and for them its hard to help.
If you have so many stress with them, maybe try to get a own flat or with some friends? idk how old are you and in which situation, but sometimes it can be good, to have “a new horizon”.
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Thanks for the response, im 19, and I cant afford to live in an apartment, but I’ve been thinking about just living in my car. I would shower at the gym, and still try to do stuff like a normal person go to work ect. I want to do this over living at home because im paying rent for my family to yell at me, and take all of the stuff I pay for away. Last night they changed the wifi password on me, and gave it to my sisters and told them not to tell me, so at this point i feel like living in my car would be better, and i have recently started therapy, im still working on opening up to my therapist.
hey Andrew,
nice to hear from you! =)
19 is a little bit young,thats correct, but if you want someting, you can do it.
but this need a better plan than just to live in a car.
Maybe with other persons a cheaper flat together?
thats very very uncool whats your family doing. i cant understand this ;( it makes me sad.
but, its good to hear, that you try to open with your therapist. Maybe this is a start? maybe he can helps you with flats or places to ask?