Im trying. i really am

after talking to chat, dan, and casey today. i was directed to come to the wall for support so… lets try this out?
i couldnt decide if this was a worthless or hopeless topic.
im just going to be real honest and open here and give it a shot bc if it doesnt work out, well… it couldnt get any worse than how i already feel.
i think my issue with trust, not being good enough, feeling worthless, and hopeless that anything will get better for me mentally emotionally, all branch from the fact that i… am not a well liked person. and the ppl who do “love” me, i dont believe them.
disclaimer: im really bad at organizing my thoughts so let me try a little harder to do that.

worthless: i think it first broke when i cheated on my bf in high school. and then every bf after that. why did i do that? probably because i felt worthless. i didnt feel like their love was real or that i was deserving, or good enough. mind you, this is all hindsight now. in the moment, i was just trying to beat them to it because to me, everyone cheated on everyone. it was a matter of who got to it first, hand the upper hand.
trust: eventually i stopped cheating on my bfs. but the first one that i didnt cheat on, cheated on me. after living with me for a year, paying for everything, taking care of him, i find out hes been cheating on me with someone from his past. i felt used.
feeling used: does that ever stop? because now i feel like everyone is just using me. a hidden agenda, as i keep saying. no one really cares or loves me like they say they do. words dont mean shit. actions hardly mean shit now a days. everyone is an actor. including me.
hopeless: ive been to therapists. and the truth is, i dont want to put in the work to fix myself. they told me i have borderline personality disorder. they send me to all these classes, give me all this homework to do. the only things that have ever really helped me? drugs. for sure.
to top it all off: i think im still in love with the man who victim blamed (me) when i told him that i was raped. all because he was fixed on the fact that he saw it as me cheating, when we were never even together. i still miss him, 3 years later, 3 relationships later. and he couldnt. give any type of shit about me. but i continue to let him use me when he needs. because at some point he made me feel safe, and truly loved. and i can never forget that. so i let the rest of his faults go.

at this point… its taken me maybe 2 hours to come up with words to write. and i feel like just deleting everything. these feelings… they come and go… ive cried already and feel relieved now from the pressure in my body. do i still feel like dying? do i feel better yet? does it matter? just keep getting tattoos to cover the scars and feel pain so that i dont cut myself anymore. just distract myself with tv. help other ppl. get high. get drunk. i dont know. i wish i could write more about whats going on in my head, to help people maybe, but the truth is its really very simple.

im a disappointment and undeserving of “love.”

i apologize to anyone who reads this for wasting your time. but i hope you still did.
i have so much compassion to give, but none for myself.

on top of all of this shit… my sweet cat passed away from a heart attack while im visiting in the uk. it happened last night. of course i blame myself for not being there. i didnt self harm, or try to overdose again, simply bc theres nothing in this house that would allow me. so help me god if i go home in two weeks still feeling this way.

Hi @mims,

Thank you for being so transparent and vulnerable in sharing your heart and what you are going through! I can’t imagine the rollercoaster you have been on and the emotions you are trying to wrap your mind around. The physical abuse you have endured as well only adds to the pain you have encountered. I want you to know that you matter. As hard and daunting life looks right now, I want you to know that your beating heart is proof that this world needs you. Through the ups and downs and unfortunate events you have gone through, you have so much to give. It can be so hard to be positive and make a change when negativity has been the story thus far. Do you have any people you can confide in that won’t judge you? You should never have to go through these things alone. This community is amazing on this forum, but also having a non-judgemental support group in person is also extremely helpful. No matter what, keep fighting and know that you have a purpose and have so much to give. Our community is here for you, keep fighting for hope and belief that things will get better. We believe in you!

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i have maybe 2 or 3 ppl i can confide in. but at this point, theyre tired of hearing the same shit over and over again, and i dont want to put them through it anymore. i cant keep making my problem, their problem. they have their own lives and theyve done enough for me already. i am trying to focus on them and their needs, but that means ive got no one to go to about my problems. im in a relationship again, and i think that i shouldnt be, because of the same reasons, but also many more. it just feels like im doing this alone. mostly my fault bc i dont trust other people, but also i dont want to appear weak to the ppl close to me.

@lawrenced thanks for taking the time by the way, i appreciate you a lot. very grateful for your response.

Hey there.

I’m sorry for what you’re feeling. You are not wasting anyone’s time for wanting to talk about your struggles. As a person, you deserve to have a safe place to relax and deal with the things you’ve faced, and I’m proud of you for trying to find support where you can.

I know you have listed all of the things you’ve done wrong, or feel like you have done wrong, in the past. But those are things in the past, and like it or not, they happened… and you are still here, and living, and that’s what’s important in the moment. Everyone does “bad” things; everyone makes mistakes. As long as you acknowledge that for yourself, that shows you have the ability to improve and learn from your past.

I totally understand how difficult it is to feel compassion for yourself. It’s much easier to feel like everyone else “deserves” to be loved, but since you know yourself so much more, it feels like you are the one exception because of all of the guilt that you live with. But like I said, you are a person, and people deserve compassion and dignity and the chance to live feeling loved and cared for. No matter what has happened… you’re here, and we’re here, and if you’re trying to better yourself and seek help for your problems, that’s an amazing sign of strength and the desire to become a happier, better person.

Regular counseling and/or some medication might help you open up and parse out all of the complicated things you’ve experienced and felt for so long.

I’m proud of you for coming here, for seeking help, and for resisting the urge to harm yourself. Those take so much bravery. I’m glad you’re holding on. We’re all here for you whenever you just need to talk.

Much love to you.

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