I'm Very Disgusted

My girlfriend has been angry since the day before without reason. She has a mental condition which I have been very understanding plus a physical illness as well. She believes I have been masturbating to her sisters which is false because one I never met them and second I don’t talk to them. I know she is very insecure but for her to say something like this is going beyond the line. I was there for her when she has a psychotic episode I could have left when she ended up the psych ward but I didn’t I have done to the best of my ability and to tolerate her mental illness but I don’t know how much more I can deal with this. This is why I don’t want to have a girlfriend or a relation with any woman because of this nonsense.


Everyone has their breaking point, so I understand being frustrated. However, a psychotic episode is not “nonsense”. It sounds like she might be delusional… her reality is just as real as yours.

Also… that wasn’t a very nice thing to say.


From: Ash (Discord)

I am so sorry you are struggling with this. It is hard not to struggle in this sense due to how much weight and pressure seems to be on you. I know that to me it sounds like you have done a lot for your girlfriend and tried to be there but that idea that she is saying or claiming things with you that you are doing can really hurt. It is not easy to feel like there is that lack of trust. Also I want to touch on that very last sentence about how this is why I dont want to have a girlfriend etc… Well I want to say that not every person with mental illness or physical health issues are the way this individual is. She may have something that are not yet under control but just know that it is okay. Sometimes we have to stop and support ourselves just as much as we support others. Perhaps sit down and discuss this with her. Share your fears too. Hold fast we are here.


From: Micro (Discord)

Hey Ranma, I understand why this situation would create some confusion and disturbance in your relationship. It sounds that your partner has some insecurities and struggles of her own, which can have an impact on both of you as you do life together. Do you know why she thought this? Did you have the possibility to discuss it with her directly, in a calm way? It sounds that, in this situation, there is a need for a lot of grace, love and understanding to be given. Your girlfriend didn’t have that thought out of nowhere - and I’m not saying it’s because of you, I’m just saying that by saying this, she is expressing some needs that will have to be met with love and patience. I am myself in a relationship and we are approaching 11 years of being together, soon. It hasn’t been full of sparkles and butterflies all the time, especially since my partner and I both deal with our very own traumas that still have repercussions on our present life. However, communication is key in that kind of situation, and that’s what has been helping us the most, even during some very, very tough times. I would disagree with the word you use: to “tolerate” her mental illnesses. When you love someone and share your life with them, you also meet them at some very intimate levels. It requires not to tolerate parts of who someone is, but to accept them fully. That doesn’t mean that your partner isn’t going to work on themselves. That means that you would support them, and not push them into boxes they wouldn’t fit. I hear that you have done a lot to her and that’s truly awesome. However, in a loving relationship, supporting our significant other doesn’t grant any kind of merit badge. It is our duty to be there. And I’d say that, if you question this, then it might be really important to have a real conversation about it with her. I hope that you will find some way together to communicate, heal and find peace. :hrtlegolove:


Hi ranma1983.
Thank you for posting. First i want to tell you that it is ok to feel this way. There comes a point in some relationships when they become very one sided. Yours seem to be such case. You give the person you care about support and love and all you get in return is blame and more problems. It is ok to end such relationships when they become draining for you.

I also wanted to tell you that not all people and not all people with mental illness are like that. I belive you can find a relationship where you feel loved and cared for. You just have to give it a try. It is ok if that is not going to be a priority for a while but dont give up. Dont let one bad experince keep you from a good relationship.

Take care


hey @ranma1983

Thank you so much for reaching out here. I think it’s really brave to tell us what you are going through.
First of I want to say that it sounds like you are bearing quite a burden here, friend. You’ve been the major support of someone with a mental and physical illness. That can be really hard to deal with. Often times we think about the people who go through this, but don’t realize that the person on the sideline, the person who deeply cares about their loved one, also has to deal with all of these heavy things. So probs on you for sticking around during these really difficult times.
I’m sorry to hear that your girlfriend has been accusing you of things that you haven’t done and that she doesn’t believe you when you say that that is simply not true. Her insecurity should not be a reason for her to accuse you randomly of things without any proof being there.
Sometimes, people who are insecure might be scared of losing the people they love, and they might be scared that they aren’t enough for you. Have you asked her calmly what proof she has that you would not be there for her? That you would be cheating on her? If you can find the thought pattern, maybe you can help her find the truth, which is that you didn’t cheat on her and that you care about her. Like you said: you’ve been there through a lot of heavy things, so it might be good to make her realize that you did that because you cared about her and not because of anything else.
I hope you can find a way to have healthy communication with your partner and if that is not possible at the moment, that is also fine. I hope you also know that not every person is built the same way and that you give relationships and other people a good chance :wink: .



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