I'm very tired and sad

I feel really bad as of recent. It’s so hard to feel okay. I have small moments of feeling okay but they go so fast. My ex and I are going through lawyers but also through na app called Our Family Wizard for communication involving our son and visitation. Well recently he has been trying to disregard the paperwork and keeps asking me if he can see our baby this weekend. I told him no, for our baby’s safety, I want to wait for the paperwork to be finalized. Yesterday he sent another message saying I need to think of our son in all of this and put him first and that I need to make a compromise and let him and his family see our baby. I said I am putting our son first and doing this to keep our son safe. I also said please don’t ask again. It’s always I’m in the wrong and keeping our baby away from him while I am literally just waiting for the paperwork to be done so it’s supervised visits. He is now angry because he waited last minute to buy a g.n safe after fighting against buying one. He originally wanted to put his g.ns in a place where our baby couldn’t get them like on top of the fridge or somewhere like that. He eventually bought a safe today but by the time he did and proved it to me, my attorneys office and his were closed as well as the court and there needs to be signatures from all of us before visitation can begin. He once again messaged me saying that his lawyer told him to have a good weekend seeing his son and that he wanted to be sure that’s what was happening. I told him no and explained why but he tried guilt tripping me and manipulating me again. I’m tired of him, his lawyer, and his family attacking my character because they don’t get what they want. I just want my baby to be safe. Ugh I’m just so so tired and sad and I just wish he signed off his rights like he was telling his mom while I was still pregnant. He never wanted our son but then all of a sudden, he “wanted” visitation. I am not ready for this and I just feel sick about it


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