In a constant state of wanting to disappear

I find very little happiness in my life these days. I feel like I have no place in anyone’s heart. I don’t think I am a good enough person for anyone to actually miss me if I killed myself or atleast disappeared.

The relationship with my girlfriend is unhealthy and deteriorating.

The relationship with my dad feels like it’s strictly professional.

My mom thinks everything will be better if I “just put a smile on my face”

And my sister is as bad as I am.

I have no friends. No one hangs out with me or even tries to reach out to me. I feel so fucking alone in life right now, and it’s making me feel hollow. I feel like I’m an empty shell of the man I should be.

People that I’ve met through twitch and other avenues are starting to distance themselves from me. They probably don’t know that I see it but I do.

I’m just so fucking tired.

  • Nolan
1 Like


First off I fucking love you. You are amazing. I love your streams. I KNOW you are so loved.

I know right now things are rough. I know right now it feels like no one would care- but those are just lies.


I know that you are so so important.

Hold fast.

With love,
Lys (ur old pal Blurryface)


Love you Lys. <3 you’re honestly such an inspiration.


Nolan, man, I love you so much. Whenever I get into your streams or we talk, you never fail to make me laugh. I’m sorry that you’re having a rough time, but maybe if you and your sister are both struggling, you could help eachother? If you weren’t here there would be a HUGE hole in the community and in the lives of so many people. You are an amazing person, and you’re not alone. We love you. Keep going, we got you.

Hold Fast


Nolan, buddy, your name is just bad ass none the less your personality. Just hearing Devoid or Nolan I get excited.
What you’re going through is really crappy. It’s not worth beating around the bush. It sucks not being able to go to your family none the less your parents about your struggles. While it’s not necessarily the same we will always be here for you.
It’s really rough that your relationship seems to be falling apart. This is something that is really hard for both sides. Have you tried to talk to your girlfriend about your feelings within the relationship?
Admittedly in my case I haven’t reached out to you. I am sorry. I’m not just saying im sorry. I. am. sorry.
With your experiences you’ve clearly seen hell and back and I am sorry you had to go through that.
Dan I know has reached out to you, though and I can commit to reaching out to you more too. It’s important to acknowledge those who have and haven’t reached out.
I love you buddy, what you do in HeartSupport is important. What you do in every day life is even more important and you are really important to me.
We’re always here for you, brother.
Hold fast.


man, that feeling of loneliness makes everything harder, i’ve spent quite some time at that place. I’m here if there’s anything i can help with. whenever loneliness sinks in, remember you’re not alone alone.


Nolan. I am so sorry you feel like this. I know what it’s like to feel like no one gives a rats ass about you. It’s something I personally struggle with still to this day. Like for me I feel as though, because of my past, everyone will got bored and leave me because I’m not worth their time. It hurts when you feel as though no one wants to be around you. But man my day lights up whenever I see you on the hs stream. I try to catch you whenever you play but with how hectic life is I’m usually never on when you are on. I genuinely love you as a person. I’m sorry if I contributed to what you are feeling in any way, shape, or form. I mean this in all seriousness if you want to talk I’m on discord. Nolan. I love you. I hope you can so much we all care for you. I hope the best for you and your girlfriend and your family. Id miss you if you were gone. You matter. You deserve happiness and peace. Boi don’t you know you are the stuff. I hope these dark times won’t linger over you much longer. Again Nolan I love you man.



Video response from our Twitch stream:

Hold Fast.


This really hits close to home for me. I may not know you, but I can say that being here, being part of this amazing community, being a human being means that you ARE loved. You ARE cared for, and you ARE enough.