In november of 2020 i started a job end met this g

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In November of 2020 i started a job, end met this girl who I instantly had a crush on… little did I know a couple months down the road she would become the love of my life. Unfortunately, from previously relationships that we’re abusive, she became an alcoholic. It was the most amazing relationship, but it was not flawless. I was going to propose to her on christmas of 2021 but she passed away on december seventh from esophageal tear. I found her unresponsive in the kitchen. There’s not too many people on this earth that can imagine the pain that i’m in. I thought that she was my reward for going through all of the absolute s*** that i’ve gone through in my life from child abuse to emotional abuse from both of my previous wives. I just feel like i’m cursed. And of course, to top it all off, i’m already an empath. Why do good people have to endure so much pain?

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I’m truly heartbroken to hear about your loss. It’s evident how deeply you loved her and how special your relationship was, even amidst the challenges. Finding someone who makes you feel alive after enduring so much is a precious gift. It’s so painful when that light is taken away too soon.
The way you describe your journey reflects incredible resilience, and it’s completely understandable to feel overwhelmed by the weight of your experiences. It’s not fair that such beautiful connections can come with so much heartache. Your pain is valid, and it’s okay to grieve not only for her but for the future you envisioned together.
Remember that it’s okay to lean on others for support as you navigate this profound loss. You’re not cursed. Your ability to feel deeply is a gift, even if it feels like a burden right now.
Take the time you need to heal. Remember to be gentle with yourself. Also, know that you’re not alone in this. Sending you love and strength as you carry her memory forward. Your feelings matter and you deserve to find peace. :black_heart: