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Insecure, and feeling like i'm doomed

I’m so insecure, and I’m so afraid for my future. I overthink everything and follow one line of reasoning to the next that has me drowning in hopelessness that I’m not good enough. I didn’t grow up that way so I’m not going to be as successful as this person, I didn’t have that experience so I’m never going to understand this life lesson. I’m the youngest of three daughters, and I’ve always had my sisters to rely on for the decisions. I get upset when I make little mistakes and beat myself over it. I’m lazy and I really hate myself sometimes. This isn’t who I want to be and I feel like I can never change. I want to be the person who fights with all their heart and don’t give up, but im not, I’m lazy and I always fall to temptation and the easy ways. I have a habit of copying the people I admire, I can’t find my own self. I don’t know what to do, I feel like I know nothing. I’m so insecure, please help me. Please give me advice on how to become secure. I keep letting myself down. I think I know what I want in life, and then I doubt myself. What if Im just a copycat? What if I change my mind and i’ll be miserable? What I want most is security in knowing who I am and knowing what I want in life. I feel like im making a big deal, secretly all I want is attention. So I cant be myself just because I like myself the way I am i have to find reasons make up reasons I just cant be me because im me. Just please help me. People rely on me, my mother most of all, and I cant afford to be breaking up getting screwed over little things getting lost inside my head

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@Bvblover16
Hey thank you for sharing your what you are going through. I want to say I can see how you feel stuck and that you struggle to feel if its even okay to reach out. You can all of us deal with pain and we all deserve to be heard. I want to encourage you and tell you and sometimes we never really know who we truly truly are and sometimes we need to ask our loved ones who do they see? I have done this before, it has helped me figure what i am best and what I can do with my life. You are not alone in this and we want to help you. I hope this brings some wisdom and comfort for you.

Hold Fast
Morgan HS Intern

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There’s a lot that I want to tell you, but the part that stuck out to me the most is that you feel bad that you copy the people you admire. Wanting to follow someone’s lead isn’t a bad thing. Wanting to be a good person because those you admire are good, wanting to do a certain style of art because you admire someone else’s art, or even something like wanting to become a doctor because you admire the work that someone in the field does…that’s alright. Most of us get our start by being inspired by someone or something. We aren’t born with an ingrained knowledge of what we want to be or do. It’s something we discover with time, and we only discover it by being exposed. Most times, that is through people. So don’t feel ashamed that you want to be like another person. You can be like them and still be your own person too.

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I understand what you are feeling…
I have being there so many times and…I still am, today.

Despite that things got better and improved,
I still feel insecure about things when getting motioned by people around me.

Even if, it is small, it…hits me.
I used to cry a lot and a longtime about it even…It leads that I hated who I was.
Sometimes, it leads me to feel disappointment on myself where all these thoughts decides to show up like I’m not good enough or I’m suppose to be better than this as the oldest of the family.

There will a lot of things that I will say from experiencing this…
I want to say that It’s okay to make mistakes, We are human, We can’t be perfect in everything.
Mistakes helps to learn better on things.
I know, that it sucks when it happens but…it helps us to learn.

Maybe, right now, you don’t have any experience yet on certain things but, it will come around with time,
You are still learning.

It takes time to find who you are.

I still am looking who I am, I haven’t done this yet but, I have feeling that it might help?
Asking questions to yourself like…What do I like/dislike? or What kind of person am I?

I used to copycat too, I think…I did not so long ago but, it’s mostly without knowing it but, I don’t know if I would called this copycat.
Since…I see this more where you learning from your surroundings or looking up to someone, it shapes who you are as a person.

As for insecurity, It takes time to feel more secure and confident in my case…
T4= Try To Trust Time

I think that will come around when you find yourself.
Since, I feel that you are feeling lost, trying to find who you are still.

Take care, sending hugs

-LostWings