Insecurities /:

I’m so damn insecure. I don’t know how to help myself, I try as hard as I can but it really seems impossible. I hide behind my hair and am too terrified to even look up from the ground when I’m walking. I have constant raging anxiety for any social interaction or even just being around others because I know they’ll all laugh at me like they always have. I don’t want to be noticed, I just want to be left alone. I’m never happy when I look in the mirror, I feel inadequate at any task I do. I pick out every detail about myself and just can’t stop focusing on it for whatever reason, it kills me. I panic and want to cry when pictures are taken of me, I just can’t do it. I want to take pictures sometimes though, it just hurts really bad because I’m really scared to and when I do and expect to look back on a happy memory when I see the picture I can’t help but focus on how much I dislike the way I appear. I don’t know how to stop it, it just makes me so sad and makes everyday life almost impossible. I’m sorry… just throwing some feelings out there.

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@PikachuNerd,
Hey, it’s okay to fall down. It’s okay to feel insecure, many of us do. You may see yourself like that, but to me and others you are beautiful, strong, a fallen angel.
We see the truth. You are worth it. Your head should be held high, your voice proud. Some people don’t get what you are, and that’s their loss. There’s nothing wrong with you. Don’t let other people’s opinions drown your voice out. You are strong, I know you are.
I believe in you. If you were right here in front of me, I’d look at you and say exactly what I’m saying now. You are much more than you think.
Be proud, fallen angel, and hold fast.

Shadowboxer by Good Charlotte

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Thank you so much. :heart:️ It means allot

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Hey friend,
I understand your pain but self love is a journey and there will be bumps in the road, but you just have to be patient.

I also suffer with social anxiety but I found it got slightly better after I learnt to put myself in positions I found uncomfortable. I guess you just learn to “deal with it” for lack of a better term.

I promise you it does get easier but I just takes some work. But I know you can do it.

I love and support you,

Hold fast friend
Luna :heart:

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Hey @PikachuNerd,

Thank you so much for sharing. It takes a lot of courage to open up to a bunch of strangers. We’re here to help!

You’re definitely not alone in this fight. Most people struggle with a form of an insecurity; some are just better at hiding it than others. Based on personal experience and based on the stories told by others, insecurities do, in fact, fade over time. Even if they aren’t directly addressed in the moment, they start to slowly fade away with time. Now, if you don’t want to wait for your insecurities to slowly fade away with time, I would highly recommend fighting back against your insecurities now. “We are our own worst critic” - one of my favorite quotes. We are WAY too hard on ourselves. Confidence all starts in the mind, and although it takes a while to build, it’s worth it. Start with something small by writing 3 truths about yourself on 3 sticky notes, and place those sticky notes on your mirror in your bathroom so you’ll see them every day. Over time, you’ll start to believe those truths as you battle out the lies in your mind. You’re a rockstar!!

-Eric

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PikachuNerd, 

i am so sorry your going through this. by the way it is okay that you dont know how to help yourself but all you have to know is we will help you get through this. i know what your going through and i know its hard. I have my inscurity in my own dang voice, everytime i hear it through a video going through a speaker in class, i cringe . my voice is so high pitch that i just want to hide or even no record myself talking. Also, with the sociall intercations, i feel you . its hard for me to present, its hard for me to my music test because i have the eyes of humans staring at me. by the way the WILL NOT laugh at you . if they do , its on them not you. you are special in your own ways. Just know YOU ARE NOT ALONE! just know to hold fast and remember your worth it!

-Ashley

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Hi PikachuNerd!

My friend I can really relate to this. I have struggled with self esteem and self worth for so long. It can really be exhausting at times. I’m sorry it’s been making life feel impossible. I still struggle with photos and trying to be perfect basically. I’ve had anxiety attacks because of how I looked and it’s awful. But I’m learning too. It’s something I still struggle with but I am much better than I was before. You can find that too. Self love is a journey and can be difficult but it is so worth it. What really helped me was to say little positive affirmations to myself every morning in the mirror. Or leave little positive notes to myself here and there. I know it sounds dumb and cheesy, but seeing those words eventually seeped into my brain. So instead of looking in the mirror and focusing on my flaws I looked in the mirror and saw the words “you are beautiful”. Change out the negative thoughts with positive ones. I also do this thing when I’m really bad where I pretend I’m talking to my best friend. I would never call her fat, ugly, or a failure. So why am I calling myself that? These are just little things I did that helped me. Maybe they can help you too. Like I said it’s a journey and it won’t happen overnight. Be patient with yourself. It can get better. Hold Fast

Love,
Cassie

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Hey @PikachuNerd,

I’d like to challenge you to something that helped me. When I was 6 my face was shredded by a dog, and had to be put back together via plastic surgery. I spent so much of my life just hating the face in the mirror that I actually grew my hair super long so I could put it over the scars like some sort of hair based phantom of the opera. Now a days I recognized that most folks dont even notice the scars and only I do, and what helped was the following:

The Self Care Selfie Challenge

  1. Take a picture of yourself EVERY DAY.
  2. Sit down. Look at it. Look at it hard.
  3. Recognize that your brain is going to point out all sorts of bad things.
  4. Concentrate hard, make your brain point out ONE good thing.
  5. Repeat Process EVERY DAY. Every so often try to add one more good thing to the list.

Now you dont need to put that picture online. That’s for you. The key is to FORCE yourself to find that one, then two, then three, etc… thing every day. If at some point you choose to put that picture online, thats also your choice.

Its about retraining your brain, and building that new mental habit, and in doing so you’re taking that thing you fear, the camera, and using it as an instrument of healing.

My path went from HATING how I looked, to looking forward to the Self Care Selfie of the day to the point of prepping for it, by picking outfits, doing my hair, going for a walk and finding a cool spot, to enjoying when people need a picture of me, or want a picture of me.

I still see the scars on my face when no one else does, but they no longer hold a power over me.

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Much love Pikachu <3 I am rooting for you, hopeful for you, and care about you.

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I was always awkward as a kid. It took me a long time to come out of my shell. I would hide who I was for fear of screwing things up. I made many mistakes since then. One thing I learned is to gain experience you must take a step. To give your best to taking that first step you can prepare. You are your own worst enemy. A lot of times I find that I’m the hardest critic/bully to myself. I always second guess myself even when I know I am right. A lot of people I know irl never would have guess & some look up to me. Many are proud of me. When I open up to those I trust I’m always surprised by their replies. I expect brutal honesty yet when I get it. I find that mostly I am the only one that is being brutal on me. Others don’t look at me in the light that I mostly shine on myself.

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@PikachuNerd here is our video response with @NateTriesAgain on today’s live stream. I hope you find it encouraging.

Hold Fast.

-Danjo

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@PikachuNerd also here is a youtube video you may be able to relate to .

You Say - Lauren Daigle

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I just want to say thank you so much for all who commented and read my post :heart:️ It means so much to me that you guys are strong enough to share your stories and make me feel strong enough to share my own. You’re all so great :slight_smile:

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