Instagram Fan #17

I’ve had depression since I was 13 and I’m 20 now, it’s taken a heavy toll. I really want love but know not to chase it and know part of that is learning to love myself, but it’s hard when you hate yourself most days. Its difficult to find who you really are before finding love or to do either when you’re usually alone.

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ahhh geez…this is so relatable…how do you love yourself when you don’t? And how do you love yourself when you feel you aren’t receiving love, and how do you love others when you aren’t receiving love? It feels like this impossible loop…where there is no clear place to start, and holding onto ideals can just make you so damn lonely…and that loneliness only compounds the depression…which feels like this haunting fucking fog that has never cleared…it just feels like there’s no clear way out of this. But in the midst of it, it feels like you have found a way to ground your hope, to believe that you really can face this, that you really can learn to love yourself, and that you really can learn to love and be loved. And that hope is really beautiful in you. I hold onto that same hope with you, and I believe that you are WORTHY of the love you are searching for. And it’s okay that it takes time to learn that…especially because you seem to have hope, endurance, RESILIENCE to try even when it feels like it’s crazy to try. You’re asking the right questions, you’re pursuing your heart first, and that is really hard and really courageous. I just want to say that you’re on the right track…and if nothing else, it’s gotta feel good to be going in the right direction. Keep going, friend. I’m proud of you.

Hi friend!

It sounds like you’re having a rough go right now, but you are fighting it, which is good! It’s a tough uphill climb when you feel like you don’t have anything to hold on to, and you’re just stuck where you are. But I hold with Nate - you are worthy of love, and of being loved. Start small. You don’t have to love yourself right away, but maybe just try liking yourself. Every little step in the right direction is a still a step that way. You’re going to get there, I promise. <3