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i’ve been going through some of the most uncontrollable emotions for the past few months. i’ve been LITERALLY and i mean LITERALLY ripping my hair out in chunks as a way to calm myself down. i have a wide bald spot on the back of my head due to it and i’ve been wearing hats to not hide it but also prevent myself from doing it, which hasn’t been a big help believe it or not :sweat_smile:. i’m really scared to get help. i’ve always had anxiety my whole life and i think i’m depressed. idk life just seems different. i went to a psychiatrist a good chunk of my life and i stopped going. i’m really scared to ask or get help again because i feel like there are more people out there who need that help and that my situation just isn’t i guess worth getting help for or it isn’t as important? i know i sound like a jerk saying that but that’s what i think. i just think that there are people out there who need it more than me and that there lives need that help.


Hey friend,

In my experience, it’s not an uncommon feeling to believe that someone deserves help more than you do. You’re not a jerk for thinking that, I promise. However, you’re feelings, emotions, and overall wellbeing are just as important as everyone else’s, because your existence and being have just as much purpose. Your mental health is valid and deserves to be taken care of, too. It can be hard to ask for help again, but right now, reaching out and telling your story is the first step, and I am so proud of you for that.

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Hey friend, how you feel makes totally sense. A vicious effect of anxiety is to keep us prisoners of a cycle of loneliness and isolation. We’re anxious, we develop coping mechanisms we’re ashamed of, and reaching out feels impossible, so we hide even more. As you said, you’re scared to get help - and that is very understandable. But it’s also the core reason of this question you asked.

I too struggle with anxiety, and it’s only recently that I’ve started to receive professional help. But for too long, I was avoiding to reach out because I was scared. I was afraid of what I’d have to say, how to explain my situation, how to find the right words, and what if the person is not kind, and what if… you know how it works. I’ve told myself so many times that my problems were not a big deal but those thoughts are like running to the rabbit hole. Truth is you deserve to be helped. And the people who could help you will also help you to see that anxiety can be normalized through conversations, that there is nothing to be ashamed of. Your own struggles are never invalidated by what others are going through. It’s subjective, and what matters is that you want to do something about this anxiety.

I want to encourage you to try to contact your psychiatrist again once you feel ready (and if you felt okay with them). You don’t have to deal with this alone. It’s okay to move backwards when it gets overwhelming and scary. But I also believe in you and your capacity to take a step further. It’s like jumping into the unknown but the discomfort doesn’t last. In the long run, it opens doors to more self-confidence and peace. You got this, friend.

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I see it many times where people always think their struggle isn’t important because someone else is suffering more. Your struggles matter to you, and that is what makes them matter, period! Everyone deserves to be heard, to actually have someone care enough to listen.
Do find someone that can help. My son actually did this when he was in 2nd grade. His teacher was wonderful, she would allow him to wear a ball cap in class to cover the bald spots. I did find a good therapist, and he did eventually stop doing it.
I hope you can find help so you can stop.

Hey friend,

Thank you so much for opening up and being brave enough to share your heart and emotions, especially after stating that you were scared to ask for help.

What I can tell from this post is although you are scared to ask for help there is a part of you that deeply knows you not only should but also deserve to receive help. and you do. It can be so easy to try to compare our pain to the pain of others but the truth is that pain is relative. It cannot be compared to anyone else’s experiences.

I also want to acknowledge that feeling uncontrollable and intense emotions is totally normally, especially during this incredibly stressful time. Although many people are experiencing these emotions it does not mean that your feelings are not valid and important because they are. Your feelings matter and they deserved to be heard and attended to by someone who can support you.

I also imagine that after feeling this way for so long and having anxiety for your whole life getting help could be really scary. You have become used to this way of being and the idea of change can feel really daunting. Although it might seem scary the things that are scary and uncomfortable are almost always worth it and they always help us grow.

At heartsupport we have a partnership with better help counseling and you can get a free week of therapy at .

You deserve to feel heard, seen and loved. Your feelings matter.

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You are loved :heart: You matter :heart:

Just think, if you feel better, you can help several others feel better. So, the world gains more, if you take care of yourself. It’s like they say in the airlines, during emergencies, oxygen masks will come down, and put yours on before helping others. So, take care of yourself first, in order to effectively benefit others.

Setting aside the issue of believing others need help more than you do, being fearful about making that decision, is a pretty strong indication that you really do need to seek help. While facing fear of seeking help, remind yourself that you have sought help in the past, and have survived, therefore if you seek help now, you will get through it, and very likely to be better off.

You are as important as anyone! I don’t know if you are familiar with the “butterfly effect,” but basically it describes how the flapping of a butterfly’s wings can set off a chain of reactions that ultimately leads to a typhoon. Similarly, small acts of kindness can change the course of human history. So, if you’re feeling well enough to be kind, you may, without realizing it, make the world better for all of us.

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