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I am currently in a probationary period of a job that I am unsure if I will make it to the end and keep this job. It pays for most of my bills and there’s not a lot of jobs that are as consistent or as stable as this one. On top of this I turn 26 in a couple of weeks and it’s really starting to hit me about what I want to do in the future. I have been playing drums for 14 years but my drums are not as easily accessible anymore considering I live in an apartment 30 minutes away from where they’re at. I picked up acoustic guitar over quarantine and while that was good, I don’t even feel like picking that up anymore. I used to really enjoy photography but even that seems like a chore when everyone around you is way better at it. I’m losing friends who I thought cared about me. Lots of times I don’t feel like doing anything and I have to literally think about what I even want to do anymore instead of just doing it. I just sort of question everything and am stuck in my head all the time. Overall I’m just not as happy as I used to be and I really want to be not even for myself but for others. My past likes to come through the cracks as well and makes me feel bad or question my future. I just truly don’t know what to do when I usually know what to do or what needs to be done.

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Hey! Sometimes in life, we just can’t catch a break and it feels like everything around us is falling apart. Its the worst feeling because it tricks your mind into thinking that you have nothing. Which is never true. I promise.

Right now, think to yourself. Envision yourself happy. Do you have a vision of it? What are you doing? What do you look like? Why are you happy in this vision? I know that when I was in depression and dark places just a couple years ago, I felt like nothing was going right. I lost my families trust, I made bad decisions, but one thing I did have was a vision of myself happy. And I sought after that vision and made it my #1 priority.

I promise no matter how low things can feel, that you are special and you can be happy.

Speaking for myself, like I said, I made terrible decisions years ago and I punished myself for a very long time for my behavior. I was angry, sad, just super unhappy. It took me a very long time but I HAD to come to peace with the past if I was to progress my life. And I finally came to peace with my past. Its not healthy to think of the past and let it influence your future. Again, speaking from my own experiences. Everyone is different.

That’s so cool that you’ve been playing drums that long!! I want to learn someday. I play guitar myself and can sing / scream, but absolutely 0 drum skills haha.

Another thing is to try to more things that get you out of your own mind. However that may be. Everyone is different.

Let me know if you have a vision, how you want your future to shake out, what you envision, all of it. I hope to hear back from you. Stay strong friend



From Original Poster: @heartsupportwall I feel like I have a very vague vision for my future simply because I’ve never really had such high expectations for myself growing up. I like to think I’m a simple man, I envision security financially however that may be and I envision a life with a significant other whom I love and care for and I can come home to and even further down the road I envision raising a family. As for myself it’s hard to really know what I want, sometimes I want something and then it changes so fast I just am used to thinking about what I do and how it affects other people. I just want a life where I am doing whatever it is that makes me happy but I have the love and security to back it up as well. It’s hard to explain but I greatly appreciate your response !

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