I’ve struggled with clinical depression for the last 5 years each day a struggle.my constant grief is that I know I will always feel a piece of it with me always it’s difficult to comprehend that I may struggle forever. Love your work Ryan on and off stream. Sincerely, Tragedyengine
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Gosh, the weight of feeling like this may never get better…to feel like you’ve got this cloud over your life, and you’re desperate for the sun, and for so long you’ve woken up day after day after day, hoping that you’d finally see some light, and some days the clouds may thin, but it feels like it never, ever leaves. And that is such a brutal place to be…
If there’s anything that I read from this short bit of your story it’s that … HOLY COW…you are incredibly courageous. To fight through discouragement, to fight through hopelessness, to have come FIVE FULL YEARS – are you kidding me?! That is strength. That is resilience. Even if your hope feels weak now, that you have been able to press through the darkest days, clouds season after season after season. I am so impressed, and I am inspired – it makes me feel like I too can weather the storms in my life…and maybe our victories can spur one another on.
Thank you for sharing, friend.
-Nate
From Original Poster: @heartsupportwall that is something to appreciate is the amount of time I’ve lived with it. Very kind and wise words means a lot
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Hey friend, by being here you’ve proved that this depression has not taken the best of you. Despite all the hard times you’ve been through for five years, you are here, alive, breathing, and that is the most beautiful gift you’ve been giving to yourself.
Struggling with a depression can be such a silent, invisible and isolating battle. I face this monster too, every single day. And those times when it feels like it will never get better are the worst. But even if this depression has been part of you, it doesn’t define you. It may shape your perception of this world, of yourself, but it doesn’t change your heart and this spark of life within you. It was there before your depression, it’s still there while you are fighting, and it will be brighter each time you keep standing up for yourself. Your depression is like a red flag that points out something that’s not working. But the issue is not you as a human being. You are not broken. You are not helpless. You are in movement, constantly learning, changing. Your efforts are not unseen.
Through all of this, you will grow stronger, friend. You’ve manifested so much resilience already. Take some time today to acknowledge and honor that part of yourself. If sometimes your depression feels too real and intense, keep in mind that this strength within you, this vitality, is also very real. We see it here, and it’s beautiful.