Intrusive Thoughts

My intrusive thoughts have gotten really bad and I’ve gotten used to them so it doesn’t even feel out of the ordinary when I can feel the thoughts happening. I do not want to think about those kinds of things with my own family, my coaches, and my friends. I really don’t like people who self diagnose, i know how harmful it is to people with the actual condition. A couple years ago (like four years ago) I had a couple therapists tell me I had some obsessive tendencies. I don’t think I have OCD bc I don’t have any compulsions other than some minor motor tics I do. The only “rituals” I have are to get rid of the thoughts and theyre these mental exercises that help me (the main one I used to do is make a pit of lava and shove the person in - it sounds dumb but it kind of works). They used to help but theyve started to become less effective. I don’t want to have a condition, but I do want to give whatever this is a name. I can’t ask my parents because they’re conspiracy theorists and they’ll tell me its the 5g from my phone or that it’ll be healed by a spiritual healer (they dont help). I’ve been trying to find free clinics to try and get a screening but everything is shut down

what are intrusive thoughts?

Hey!! Welcome to the community :slight_smile: we are happy to have you here !! I definitely understand where you are coming from being bugged with knowing you have something but cannot get a diagnosis. I believe I have an undiagnosed panic disorder ( ive been diagnosed with GAD just because I had to go to the doctor and er a few times because of it ) but my parents to absolutely nothing to help my mental health. Its understandable you dont want any diagnosis and another condition but want to know what you have. Its very understandable. Is there any other way for you to do screening? Can another family member take you ?

usually pretty sexual. The earliest one I can remember was just scary, I couldn’t look in mirrors without thinking “bloody mary” three times. It sounds kinda weird but I couldn’t look into any reflective surface for a couple months and thought i was going to die. Then it progressed to weird sexual thoughts about friends and family, which wasn’t fun but it was manageable ig. Now it feels like theyre there. I can literally feel the person 0/10 dont recommend. I honestly don’t know if this is normal but I just want to figure out a way to deal with it.

I don’t know how to help you, because I am just an asexual kid who doesn’t understand so I’m going to get @SheetMetalHead to help you

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I don’t know many adults. I wish I did, I can’t even go and get the (apparently optional) vaccines I want to get. My parents love me and want the best for me but I know exactly what they’re going to say. I also dont really want to discuss the nature of my thoughts with them because it would definitely affect my relationship with them.

Thank you!! honestly dont think theres anyone who would completely understand but if someone has even the slightest idea as to whats going on i would be so grateful

Ugh im so sorry about all of that. Perhaps if you are in school you can go to a guidance counselor and say you need some help ( you dont have to go into detail) but maybe they can help you out

I would but my guidance counselors are known to be really bad haha the guy who does therapy is very creepy

I think I just mostly need to get the thoughts out, writing them down in secret is less effective now

Is there anyone you can talk to?

Yikes I am really sorry. Maybe say you need/ want a check up and keep consistently bringing it up ? I know you said your parents are conspiracists but I mean, legally you are their child and when you need to go to the doctor its their job to take you & take care of you

I want to talk to my best friend about it but I also don’t want to unload all of this onto her. It’s kind of a lot and also I feel like she might misunderstand and think that I’m just experiencing casual intrusive thoughts that dont affect my everyday life. That usually leads to her or other people talking about their own stuff. I think that this is also one of the thoughts, I havent gotten any work done in the past 2 days because ive just been trying to write about this its all I think about right now

thats a good idea! I would probably have to fake a symptom of a physical illness though just because my parents dont like western medicine (they believe in big pharma)

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Even if you want to then definitely do that & talk to the doctor privately! That will help a lot :slight_smile:

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thank you, have a great rest of your day

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You too friend !! <3

Hey @otter,

Glad to have you here! Thank you for sharing this with us. Experiencing such frequent intrusive thoughts must be scary and exhausting. I’m sorry this has been happening and has become more intense lately. I get where you’re coming from wanting to be able to put a name to what you’re experiencing. I feel it at least helps you know what you’re dealing with and gives you a place to start.

The thing about intrusive thoughts is by its name they are unwanted thoughts. You do not choose to have them nor do they say anything about your character or sanity. I think that is important to keep in mind when you are experiencing them so as not to place judgment on yourself when they occur. I would encourage you to maybe try mindfulness techniques. That is, when these thoughts occur, recognize them but let them pass. All they are are thoughts and they do not lead to action. You are not your thoughts.

As far as being able to talk to someone, I believe Better Help offers a week long free trial? Maybe that could be an option to try and discuss what you’ve been experiencing with a licensed counselor. There is also a book called Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts by Sally M. Winston. Maybe it could provide some further support as well!

Hold fast my friend, you are so very strong, very loved and we all believe in you!

Hannah Rhodes

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