Is a toxic father worth it?

Being home for the summer after finishing up my sophomore year of college has been…weird. Especially with the relationships I have with my family. Me and my mom have been on good terms for the most part, just like every relationship we have our arguments but its overall been healthy between us. My father on the other hand. It’s very strained, an almost nonexistent relationship and its been like this for years. I’ve tried to keep him in my life but he doesn’t make it easy. He has major anger issues, manipulates people to get his way, and is narcissistic. He also just makes me uncomfortable to be around because he puts his hands on my legs which I don’t like and he has no respect for women which makes it even harder for me to be around considering I’m a girl. I’m just conflicted if I should continue to make an attempt to have him in my life still. I mean he’s still my dad but that’s the only reason I still try to work things out but it just continues to worsen with him and I don’t know if its worth it anymore to keep him in my life.
June 18, 2019


Hey Kelly,

Thank you for reaching out! This sounds like a really conflicting situation to be in. It’s hard because he is your father, but at the same time if the relationship isn’t healthy and if you feel uncomfortable and have been feeling that way, I would say there is nothing wrong with loving him from a distance. I think it is okay to know when to distance ourselves for our own health. Sometimes that means just loving from a distance. That doesn’t mean you don’t care about him or that you aren’t trying. It just means you are taking the necessary steps to take care of yourself.

Hold Fast,
Hannah Rhodes

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I’m sorry you do not have a good relationship with your father. He shouldn’t touch your legs. That is something a father shouldn’t do. Maybe you should stay away from him until he change. If he improves, you can let him in into your life. At the end, it’s up to you. Once again, I’m sorry. I hope you are hanging on. Thank you for sharing. God bless you.

Hello Kelly

I am 35 years old and my father lives about 30 mins from me and I don’t have a relationship with him because of past issues he has and he doesn’t want to take responsibility for his actions nor does he care to. I’ve tried to reach out to him a few times but he is so selfish and arrogant to the point that its not worth it. I left him be and give it to God.

My advice to you is let him be and just stay away from it looks like your father has a lot of demons and he is very toxic to you and seeing what you have posted he could hurt you its best to go your own way because you don’t need someone bringing you down even if its family. You need to focus on you and your mental health. I wish you the best.

You are loved and cared for here.

Video Response:

I’d also like to send you a sticker to remind you that you matter:


Your father has a sickness and needs to be helped or jailed if he is molesting you or other women. Please do the right thing in getting him help or turning him in if he is doing these things. As far as you relationship goes he is your father you should forgive him and always honor him as your father but you do not have to involve yourself with him or have anything to do with him while he as that way. Don’t put your self in harm and allow him to harm others.

Hey friend, we responded to you on stream, live. Hope this helps:


Thank you to everyone who has given advice about this situation! It’s been a tough situation that I’ve been very conflicted about and I’m happy to know that its okay to distance myself from him and I hope one day in the future he’ll get the help he needs so we can have a better relationship.