@HeartSupport
I pretend to be ok, I smile and nod
When it comes to night when family / partner were/ are asleep I tear up in silence
But I’m 23 and don’t know where I’m going in life and don’t know what my purpose is or how to find it.
I always tell myself I would like to be wealthy one day and happy / kind person but right now this tunnel doesn’t seem like a tunnel anymore it seems like I’m at the bottom of the ocean walking continuously with no light in sight.
I have broken up with my partner few years ago and then got back together thinking I’d be ok again I guess I was happy or atleast she made me forget about the unhappiness I guess until (last few weeks it just felt like she didn’t respect me as her partner/as a person and treated me like a dog when she said here boy she’d expect me to come) type thing
my actual main reason
Started mainly since last couple years of school after I had open heart surgery I lost my motivation and happiness. I’m Australian so my atar was awful / not great to go straight into uni and then even that I didn’t know what I wanted to do for my future. I’m not stupid but I’m not a straight A student either
During school I wasn’t the most popular person but I had a lot of people that knew me and few “real” friends but had a lot of fake friends or acquaintances I guess. Now those few real friends moved away I still sometimes keep in touch and see them very occasionally.
I feel stuck, lost and lonely.
I wouldn’t say I hate socialising but I find it quite draining with certain people. I use to be more of a extrovert and would speak to anyone say anything wtc but I feel like I’ve lost myself and I’m more of an introvert now but I feel like it’s because I suppressed who I was because of a previous partner for so long I lost me. As well on top of everything
@heartsupport
