I have other people in my head, but Idk what they are or where they came from. At first, I thought they were imaginary friends, but the first one didn’t appear until I was 14, and they seem to act autonomously. (Not only that, but they appeared without me creating them.)
I also considered that I may have OSDD-1B, but I don’t switch with them and, again, they didn’t appear until several years after the initial trauma.
I just want to know what’s wrong with me.
Hi Rowan,
Welcome to Heart Support.
I would recommend possibly getting in touch with @Sky-Trev, as they have been very open with their experience with alters and being in a system.
Otherwise, I was just curious. These people that share your brain, do you see them? Hear them? Can you communicate with them? There are many disorders associated with visual hallucinations that aren’t the same as something like DID or OSDD. All this being said, I am not a medical professional and I would recommend that you speak to a therapist or school counselor.
I wish you luck in your journey. Please know you can always come here for support. Feel free to keep us updated as well, but only if you want to. Stay strong, friend.
Hi @Sapphire
I can see them and hear them, but I only see them in my daydreams/inner world. I can hear them whenever we’re “out” at the same time, as in not in the inner world (?) or asleep. They don’t sound like real-life sounds do, but I can still hear them clearly. They just sound fainter and more distant, for lack of better words. Also, I sometimes share dreams with them in which I have all of my senses.
Hello Rowan! Also thank you for the tag @Sapphire and how do you feel these people are, do they feel similar or seperate or parts of you but they differ from you? Sorry it’s a bit of a loaded question but I would love to see if you could elaborate a bit on your experiences!
Also I suggest you head over to this post where I at times update and add some stuff about dissociation and DID, I also share a channel that’s DissociaDID which is a system that talks about their experiences together. How to help yourself and those around you break out from derealization/depersonalization
I find it funny that you recommended DissociaDID! I just saw her latest Patreon post and that’s actually what reminded me to check my post here!
To answer your question, I feel like they are separate parts of me. They do not resemble me whatsoever, varying in age, gender, and even species. They even have their own opinions and get into arguments!
Definitely sounds like you have a system there! While I am still new to systems I do have a decent understanding of it and it’s great to hear others with a similar experience to mine!
Strange that you say that because I came to the opposite conclusion just yesterday because I remember all of my trauma and I know nobody’s hiding anything from me. (We’re very open and we can read each other’s minds regardless.)
In addition, I feel like my companions appeared due to extreme social isolation rather than trauma.
Hosts can be trauma holders, DID can commonly have alters be trauma holders but it is very well known hosts can be a trauma holder, I for one remember all my trauma and memories, but some alters share it with me
I still don’t think I have a dissociative disorder though because I wasn’t domestically abused.
That’s a common misconception when it comes to DID and OSDD since while both DID and OSDD both contain systems you do not need domestic abuse to have DID, it is repeated childhood trauma that does it. It can range from dealing with a loss when young of a close one, bullying, separation of someone close, and among other things, aslong as it is trauma it can become into DID. Domestic abuse as a child does not make DID only. It’s very important to know systems manifest from repeated bad trauma in your childhood.
Sorry if I sound rude but I wanted to be straight to the point with that is all.
It’s okay. It’s just that, right before making my last reply, I asked another system if it required domestic abuse and they said that the trauma HAD to be caused by a domestic caretaker, so I figured that ruled out DID/OSDD for me because my trauma, although bad and repeated, took place at school.
The other things that keep me from believing I’m part of a system is that I didn’t have any headmates until I was 14 (which was way after most of the trauma) and I instantly had near-perfect communication with them. To make matters worse, my first headmate actually started out as a fictional character who I had a crush on at the time. Although I didn’t consciously create them (they introduced themself in a dream), it seems highly unlikely that I would get so lucky on my first try when alters’ identities are seemingly random. (Not only that, but it’s incredibly cringy.)
Hm, I think it’s best to consult a psychologist about this. As they can provide you with a better answer, but in many sources it is said DID appears through repeated trauma. While it’s good to get into touch with other systems I do highly recommend to not take others experiences and tap it into your experience as everyone is different. And fictic alters are nothing to be ashamed of, even if you had a crush ont he fictional characters fictic alters form as the brain saying “hey, this character we see that makes you feel better so we are getting them here to help us.” But all in all, get a therapist to discuss your experiences or with a counselor and do not base your experience off of others. As everyone is different and it doesn’t need others to be perfectly valid. :]
Okay. I’m starting to wonder if I’m actually just in denial… I made a post on FaceBook describing my imaginary friends and around 5 people accused me of having DID. The funny thing though is that I used to believe that I had OSDD-1b but then I stopped mostly because my situation didn’t fit the theory of structural dissociation. (This is why I have so much knowledge on the subject already.)
I even used to be in a group for people with DID/OSDD but then someone in the group said that I can only have the disorder if I was abused by my parents and I was really offended because I love my parents and I know they would never do that!
I can understand, people can be rude and mean at times, and even go as far as to fake claim, I had a hard time accepting my system due to the fact i wasn’t like everyone else. But I will say this, childhood abuse is commonly known to cause DID but it very much isn’t a requirement to get DID.
https://www.aamft.org/Consumer_Updates/Dissociative_Identity_Disorder.aspx
One article goes ahead and says (Source: https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/dissociative-identity-disorder-multiple-personality-disorder )
“ As many as 99% of individuals who develop dissociative disorders have recognized personal histories of recurring, overpowering, and often life-threatening disturbances or traumas at a sensitive developmental stage of childhood (usually before age 6).”
I can’t diagnose you nor can you self diagnose but from what I see it very much sounds like you have a system. Also, there are all kinds of systems out there, not one can always be the same as another. https://www.healthyplace.com/abuse/dissociative-identity-disorder/understanding-dissociative-identity-disorder-alters
And it’s good to acknowledge symptoms, it’s better if you do not deny it because it can upset your group. But I’m sure you can get through this and I think it’s safer for now to distance from that group chat as you figure things out if they upset you like that.
Sigh I give up. Maybe I am part of a system after all. At this point, it doesn’t matter though, because my companions all disappeared over a week ago. I was hoping that I could find a way to get them back, but at this point, it seems as though they won’t return until I accept that they’re “normal” and not cringy. (I’m still not using the term “alter” because one of my companions specifically told me not to before they left.)
I’m having a lot of trouble with self-acceptance and I suppose I’ve been repressing them lately. However, my mental health has been far worse without them, especially my protector. I have a lot of internal conflict going on… 
I can understand Rowan, it took me a long time to accept my system as it is. And know you companions may have gone dormant, many alters can be dormant or a fragment before fully forming or appearing again. Take your time and be open minded, and get into contact with a therapist who may properly diagnose you.
I don’t want to be diagnosed because it’s not a pathology; it’s a coping mechanism. I don’t want it to get treated away or else I’ll be even worse off than before. My friends are causing me no harm; on the contrary! In addition, one of my friends has specifically told me to NOT get a diagnosis because they don’t want to be seen as a pathology! Even if I AM part of a system, I see it more as a coping mechanism for PTSD than an actual disorder itself.
Yeah I agree with that, it is a coping mechanism and you can advise your therapist to not give you the medication or to not treat it away, thats what I said to my therapist too, and it’s your choice to not get diagnosed or not, what I mean is you can get a diagnosis to know what’s going on specifically and understand your system on a psychological and medical point of view. But what I advise you is to come to your own conclusions and look into it yourself, look at articles, watch DID creators such as DissociaDID and among other things. Because it is important you do get a grasp on what’s going on, whilst also having a group of systems who can answer common questions.
Trust me; I already know A LOT about DID/OSDD. It’s my special interest! I’m actually a patron of DissociaDID! I used to interview systems because I found them so fascinating! (Upon explaining my imaginary friend, most of them told me that I’m a system too…) I already understand the whole system thing. I know it inside and out. I don’t need psychological or medical help. (Well, I do for other things, but not this.)
Ohhh gotcha! Like I said do what you what you believe is best for the system! And I promise you I’m new to being in a system but I know myself even then beforehand. So I can understand! I wish I could be a patron of DissociaDID but I’m trying to save up early to move out ahah ^^’’