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Is it too late for me?

I’m a fuck up. Always have been. I do everything I can to make sure those around me are good. Never ask for anything in return. When I fall apart, I don’t ask for help being put back together. I’m a loner. I found love. Gave it my all. That love was literally the only thing that stopped me from killing myself. Now that love is about to leave and it might have all been fake. I’m so desperate for love, I let myself fall for love I know isn’t real just so I can feel something. I just want to be loved. I’ve lost all faith in everything. Lost my faith in god, love, and life. I have no purpose on the earth. None. If I killed myself tonight, my family would be devastated… for a while. Then, as do all people when someone they love dies, they regain their normal life and my only thought will be a picture frame on a table they glance at on holiday. That such a deafening thought. Bums me out that I could end it all tonight and the ripple effect would be so small and meaningless. I don’t what do anymore :pensive:

Is it too late for me
Or is this all I’ll ever be?

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I just joined this platform a few minutes ago and your post popped up. I can totally relate how you are feeling and I’d like to let you know no its not too late. The suicidal feelings I have them everyday, but how will that help anything. I don’t promise all your problems and feelings will go away but there is always a chance for better things to come and it has to start with you being positive first. I sincerely hope you will turn things around but remember one step at a time my friend.

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I know how you feel. i also think that i mean nothing. i am desperate to feel loved. i also have suicidal thoughts. but i also just learned that i do mean something. and YOU DO TOO. everybody is important to somebody, you just have to find that person.

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I try. I try so hard to matter to people. To matter to anyone. I just don’t and it’s sucks so bad

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Hey, as someone whose lost a friend to suicide. You will 100% impact people and be so missed. You are so so important and matter. You are so loved. It’s almost been a year since I lost my friend. It still hurts, it stings to know that my friend is gone. Because things change and situations change. Life gets better. I can guarantee that you’ll find love again and things will heal. I know thats hard to see right now but, it will. Maybe take this time to focus on yourself and how you can be kinder and loving towards yourself. It’s never ever ever too late my friend. You can always continue and grow.

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I 100% get what you mean. This is going to sound really fucking depressing but honestly i don’t really know what love feels like. People always say you have to love yourself before you can love anybody else. I have no love for myself… Yet i crave love.

Every fucking time i think i am loved it stabs me in the back. this has been happening for my entire life. So maybe it’s my fault. Maybe i am the one who causes the pain.

I don’t know why i keep going. I honesty don’t.

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