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Is she the one

Hey guys I’m having a big internal dilemma about my relationship. And the problem is due to the fact that this is my first real relationship. She’s great, better than great she’s amazing. And it’s a healthy relationship. Our 1 year anniversary is upon us. But recently she admitted that I might be the one for her. And I didn’t have a response. I’m not sure what I said but I definitely didn’t reciprocate the statement because …how the hell can I?? I have nothing to compare this relationship too. I have no prior experience. And I hate myself for not having experience because what if she is the one. What if she truly is what’s best for me. And so now I’m left with a choice, continue on, making her happy and always questioning myself. Or shatter her heart, move on, and possibly regret everything. If there is even a sliver of a chance that I can find out if she’s the one for me without needing other relationships, I’ll take it. But I’m pretty sure there’s not is there :confused:

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I think you’re probably overthinking.

You don’t need to have multiple relationships to know that she makes you happy. You don’t need to have multiple relationships to know that you want to be there for her.

I know a lot of times people don’t want to tie the knot on early relationships because they feel like they might regret not having other partners for whatever reason… I never really understood this. If someone makes you happy and you are comfortable in the relationship, why do you need to have other romantic relationships? It sounds like your current relationship is good, so why worry about other romantic partners? Finding someone who is good for you is hard and being happy in a relationship is even harder. In fact I would say if you are happy with this girl and leave her just to get ‘more experience’, you will probably regret leaving her because there is no guarantee that every relationship you experience will be happy or a good fit for you.

So long story short, stop overthinking. If you make each other happy and can see a future together, go for it, but in my opinion, not going for it so you can try your luck in another relationship is not a good idea. Most people search their entire lives for someone that makes them happy so if that’s the case with you, don’t throw it away.

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Just because she thinks you might be The One doesn’t mean you have to go ring shopping tomorrow. If you love her, tell her regularly and don’t hold back, but don’t move forward until you’re ready. She may not want a response, but if she does, tell her that you love her and don’t want to see anyone else, but you’re not ready to propose just yet. That’s just not where your headspace is. There’s no reason to rush it, whether you’re young or older. One year is not a long time for a serious relationship, it’s just the beginning! You’ll know when you know, and a lifetime commitment to marriage is too important to do out of obligation.

Like @Sapphire said, don’t go looking for “more experience” for the sake of more experience or comparison. I’ve been there, and not only is it REALLY disappointing, but it scars the trust in your relationship if you do get back together.

Just don’t question yourself for the sake of finding something better. I’m not saying you wouldn’t find love again–I found it 3 times in dating–but it’s not just something you find with the cute waitress or the first Match date, and the dating game SUCKS. Don’t take her for granted, enjoy every moment with her, and love her without reservation. If the relationship isn’t meant to be, it will dissolve in its own time, and deep down you’ll know it. If you spend your time wondering or worrying though, you’ll lose the Amazing you’ve found.

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From: countesspokey

My husband and I didn’t have prior experience with dating and stuff. What we did have is prior experience in loving and caring. We just celebrated 20 years marriage this past September.

From: snoops_nz

I don’t know how to tell you if they are “the one” or not. I had very limited experience before marrying my husband, we’ve been together 15 years and I still have doubts some days. What I would suggest. Is talk to her! Tell her you love her deeply, but are struggling with the term “the one” If she IS the one, talking and communicating is important … not easy… but important!!

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From: katiebugg93

no advice, just love :heart:

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From: snoops_nz

I think it is a good sign that you are thinking about it seriously and deeply! a robotic reply of “you too” wouldn’t be fair.

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hey friend
take it easy and be honest with her tell her you need time and you know i myself couldn’t descover my person in one year
be honest with her tell her it’s not about the reason that you don’t take it enough serious cause these misunderstandings happens tell her honest that you don’t know
that’s all
tell her the way that doesn’t hurt her feelings the same way
be honest use nice words or phrase like this :
that i think you are amazing and it’s an amazing road that we have stepped in but we haven’t gone long enough
things like this that covers the truth and doesn’t hurt that much
take care

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