Lately I’ve been cutting more regularly and feeling like I’d rather be dead but I don’t hate the self harm side of it. It doesn’t hurt the way it used to, the pain is more calming to me and I enjoy the sight of my own blood. Is there something wrong with me…?
It seems like cutting is something similar to an addiction or at least is providing you with some form of catharsis. Cutting yourself to cope with stress isn’t a healthy coping strategy. I would recommend visiting a psychologist, not because there is anything wrong with you, but so they can provide you with other more effective and healthy coping mechanisms to deal with stress. It will be hard to break this addiction, but you need to power through because it will becoming easier with time.
But it’s great that you’re seeking help, it means you recognise this as a problematic behaviour that you want to change, and wanting to change is the most important aspect of seeking help.
I hope things get better for you, and you find help developing more appropriate and effective coping strategies.
@sandpit_turtle1204 can i first say i really enjoy your name…
There is nothing wrong with you. Self harm is a very common thing and most of the time, the addiction begins BECAUSE of those feelings towards it.
I don’t know why you’re self harming, or why you’re feeling like you would rather be dead right now, but just the fact you’ve posted here and reached out for help shows me that as much as you believe it, that’s not the case.
Have you looked at ReWrite? ReWrite is a book that HeartSupport released as a resource for people struggling with self harm and it’s helped so many people. Whilst I was working through it, I was able tos tay clean longer than I had before… I think it could be beneficial to you, you can get it on amazon or from the HeartSupport store on the website… If you can’t afford it but would like a copy, please don’t hesitate to message me and I’ll send you a link where you can get a copy for free. <3
I haven’t seen that book before and would really appreciate if you could send me it as my parents don’t know I cut so I couldn’t exactly ask them for it.