Is there a meaning to this life?
Honestly I done know, I can’t think of one, haven’t been able to see it for most of my life I’m 28 now and just recently been made redundant after three years, searching for a new job, what’s the point ? Is there a reason to carry on to struggle with life, to fight to see another day. This didn’t start with losing my job but it did bring it back to the for front of my mind, what is the point in pushing through life? I don’t understand it I don’t see a reason to continue the struggle?
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Hey @Drake, I’m so sorry about your job. That’s such a huge change happening in your life right now. It’s absolutely natural to step back and look at your life as a whole, wondering what’s the point and what’s the meaning of everything. When we’re embracing life, when everything work as we want, we don’t really question what’s going on… or at least, we push those questions aside more easily. And if something important collapses, it feels like everything is falling down and we can be crippled by so many doubts. Your concerns are real, valid, and your fears too. But without trying to be over-optimistic here, I want to believe that this could be a positive opportunity for you to reflect on yourself, on what you want in this life and what you don’t want anymore. This is about processing what’s going on and finding new strategies. As you said, this didn’t start with losing your job. Then maybe it is time to face those struggles, progressively, at your own pace, and take some steps to take care of yourself.
I lost my job last year, and I’m still unemployed. First because of health reasons, but also because I don’t really feel ready for that. I feel guilty and ashamed for being in this situation. I feel like I am a burden to my partner, even though we’re not currently living together. I spent years to study and finally get a place I love, yet it was taken away from me for unfair reasons. It was a bitter pill to swallow.
Our job holds such a great importance in life. We spend many hours everyday at work. Losing this creates some important changes, for sure. But it doesn’t mean that everything has to be changed or seen differently. You are still you, with your unique personality, dreams, desires and capacities. You have still worth and value, regardless of how you’ve been made redundant and why this happened.
Just like you, I didn’t wait for losing my job to actually question my life. It was something going on for too long, as I also struggle with depression and anxiety. Let’s say that being unemployed just feels like an other layer of stress piling up. It’s still scary not knowing where I’m heading, and navigating through so many uncertainties about life and myself. But I also want to believe that, maybe, this is a time for a more positive transition. I’m not saying I’m grateful for being unemployed - let’s be realistic, bills still has to be payed and it is indeed stressful -, but going through this time of unemployment actually gave me more time to learn to take care of myself and identify who I am, what I want to do in this life. I realized how much I was trying to hide in my job - or activities in general - so I wouldn’t have to face… myself, the pain and the fears I’ve been carrying for a long time. It’s been an opportunity to work on myself and give up on the strategies that didn’t work before. Now I feel like I’m just a constant work in progress. And even if it’s scary, it’s also a relief.
When changes happen, it feels like we’re facing a kind of crossroad, we’re trying to identify what are our possibilities and which path we want to chose. And in these moments, I think it’s okay to rest and take your time. Wondering what meaning you want to put in your life is a deep and important question. I mean… not everyone ask themselves this kind of question. And sometimes people do it when they’re already old, with less possibilities to make different choices and also a tons of regrets. I had a conversation with an ex-colleague recently, we discussed for about 3 hours on the phone. She experienced a very strong burnout, and she insisted on how much it’s positive, somehow, to struggle with those questions early in life and not at her own age (50+ - I am 27). She depicted her regrets, how much she could have lost her life if she didn’t came to a certain awareness about her own way to function, also what she was pursuing in this life: having a job, having a house, having a family, paying the bills… Basically, she needed to be more aware of what makes sense to her and not only what she learned as she grew up.
I don’t know if there is a general meaning of life. Sometimes it just feels like nonsense. But personally I believe that we, as individuals, are able to make our life meaningful. But for that, we also need the right support, especially when life gets tough. Whether it’s people we love, professional support like therapy or counseling in times when we feel like it’s needed, communities, resources and tools, hobbies and passions. It’s only my perspective, of course, and you are free to agree or not. But through all of this, know that this community is here. And for what it’s worth to know that, you are not alone to struggle with the burden of being unemployed and wondering what’s the point of looking after a new one. It’s okay to feel discouraged. It’s okay to wonder so many deep things about your life. But you will get through this. You will be okay. And you won’t be alone.
Take the time you need to process those changes in your life, as it happened recently. Take the time you need to reflect on yourself. To share with other’s experiences. To read inspiring books. To seek for therapy if you’re comfortable with that - they can also help you to identify what is meaningful to you especially. Try new things that you always wanted to try but never dared to - if you can access to it. Learning to know yourself and building for yourself a healthy perspective about life is a process in itself. I believe in you and your capacity to give yourself the time and grace you need through this moment. It is a difficult obstacle that you are facing. You will overcome this and grow stronger, friend. There are some resources available on HeartSupport’s website - it could be worth looking at it (heartsupport.com/resources).
There is also a 7-day challenge here on the support wall. A kind of interesting way to identify what is meaningful to you and seek this meaning in your daily life, even through actions that you could perceive as being insignificant at first. I’d like to encourage you to have a look at it - without any pressure. It could be interesting to explore this by yourself:
https://forum.heartsupport.com/t/7-day-value-recognition-challenge/14603
In any case, the very first reason to keep going on is you, friend. It may not be obvious to you right now. Maybe you feel like you’re carrying a deep emptiness and nothing could change that. But you have a rich inner life that only needs to be revealed to this world, and at first to yourself.
You are loved. And you matter. Regardless of your employment situation. There is more to see, more to live. Sometimes there’s an unexpected obstacle on the road… well, in this kind of moments it’s good to have people to sit down with you and hold your hand. We’re in this with you here.
Hold fast. 
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I read what you said all the meaning behind it and understand, yet it hold no meaning to me, I see not the reason why I carry on why I struggle,
Family parents brother sister, they are supposed to be a corner stone to my life, I suppose if I was normal they would be, don’t get me wrong there’s no history of abuse from them nothing like that but still I feel nothing towards these people see no reason to be close or hold them so, friends are the same sure they are there yet the don’t understand why I’m like this, they think it’s there fault that there son/brother/friend is so distant from this life.
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Well I tried to open up to someone again, just another random person on the phone a self-help suicide like, I tried talking saying how I felt I said it out loud again, and still I got the same response, you have the gift of life live it to the fullest, your here but for the grace of God.
I’m so sick and tired of hearing that bullshit reason, if God was here he’d be just another selfish vindictive sadistic son of a bitch like every other one there is(I’m sorry to who I offend with that)
I just don’t get this at all I don’t I can’t wrap my head around it, a silent war raging inside between my heart and my mind, my brain telling me my heart is wrong that i do care, my heart screaming out what the hell am I doing here why do I just carry on why damnit why do I willing force and fight myself.
Not seeing a reason for anything,
Why do we suffer, why do we fight, why and what for? The happy life the family? A long life what so we can continue to suffer till we’re old and yet still feel as alone and broken as I do now? Why what’s the reason
I can’t see a reason for me as an individual, or a member of my family or this society, or this world.
(Just a few words described the way I feel)
Cold and alone, a man sits atop his broken stone throne, unattached and distant, writhing alone in silence, the empty walls, cold floor bare ceiling close to his escape, locking him within the darkened room within himself, silent and calm he looks to everyone that sees him yet a mirror reflect the the opened wounds, despised by his own refection he turns back to the cliff sitting upon it’s crumbling edges watching the water crash upon the jagged rocks, the water glinting in the moonlight as it rains down, “I see the beauty within this world, yet hold no regard for it, no beauty within yet plenty without.”
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