Is this a bad/weird thing to do

i have recently started a pros and cons list about my death that i add to every once in a while. is this a bad thing to do or is it healthy? idk


Interesting idea. How do you quantify the value of each list item. For example, wouldn’t lovemaking be worth a lot more points than being stuck doing something you’d rather not?

I think in one form or another, everyone weighs the options. You’re just unusually organized about it. The thing is, the data points are evaluated subjectively, and many of them are not available until you’ve lived for quite a while.

If you become preoccupied with it for long hours, it doesn’t sound healthy. If you spend a little bit of time, not enough to interfere with your life, I think it’s okay. On the pro side, include things like the smell of freshly cut grass, puppies or kittens, popcorn, days at the beach, stuff like that. There’s this thing called confirmation bias, which is often unconscious, but causes the person to see mostly evidence that supports the opinion they started with. So, the pro’s can be plentiful when you’re having a good day, and the con’s take over when you’re having a shitty one.

Anyway, being weird is nothing to worry about unless the particular manifestation of weirdness is harmful. Besides, it’s actually normal to be weird. We’ve all got our quirks.

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Hey there @panda_pop,

I personally don’t think this is necessarily unhealthy, although something fundamental behind this is the motivation and intention that you have. Since you have tagged your post with “suicidal-thoughts”, I would assume that your outlook right now may be very biased, and this exercise could be an excuse for your mind to validate these thoughts, which is unhealthy. When we struggle with these thoughts, we can be tempted to try to rationalize and justify by multiple means the way we see ourselves and our life. I’ve done that too during times of struggles, not to the point of making an official list but certainly in my mind over and over. Weighing the pros and cons, trying to project the consequences. Truth is any reason we would list and try to objectify is actually shaped by the way we feel and perceive our life at the moment.

What brings you to do this? What are the answers you are looking for? It would be unhealthy if it was a way to seek validation for negative thoughts that you could have about your life, your worth, your future, etc. prior to the exercise, hence why it’s really important to be honest with yourself regarding why you are making this list. I would personally encourage you to make one that would be a way to challenge yourself in finding only cons for death. If you find yourself in a time of vulnerability, then focusing on “cons” will be even more meaningful and challenging, as the “pros” wouldn’t really need to be listed.

I would love to hear about what is bringing you to making this list, if you’d like to share. In case you need to hear this, your life is important and valuable, even during times of struggles, when it might be hard to see it. There’s no amount of rationalization that will ever be enough to counteract your own value and worth in this world. :hrtlegolove:

PS - Here’s an article that I would like to encourage you to read. It is completely related to your thought process there:

i would want to know how objective/subjective your weighting criteria is.
Our outlook or the “lens” we look through are tainted/coloured/influenced by our emotions and thought patterns. When we’re in certain states, it is almost impossible to think about being happy and that being worth the effort.

So if we know our lens is skewed in one direction, then the question is: What are we seeking to learn? ARE we seeking to learn in a fair and unbiased manner or are we (like Micro and Wings alluded to) seeking confirmation or PROOF?

Eg, as a writer if I think my latest piece sis a work of crap, I will ask ten others to read and give me their feedback. I may say the ones who agree it’s crap are more correct than the ones who say it’s good (and I will discount their responses with reasons such as: they’re being nice, they have lousy tastes anyway, they probably didn’t even read it, etc).

Same goes for this project of yours. If you’re in a state of mind skewed more in one direction, what guarantee do you have (what methodology are you using) to remove the inherent bias that the researcher/creator/you are introducing?

If it’s harder to be happy, then it may be harder to weigh the “pros” fairly.
But this is an excellent talking point, and visually presenting it is interesting.