open question.
i could elaborate more maybe if asked.
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This is an interesting question which comes down to personal philosophical views. After years of experiencing different types of love (romantic, platonic, and so on), I’d say unconditional love is real, but also doesn’t necessarily mean the relationship is worth pursuing if it’s detrimental to your mental and physical health, and this is applicable to unconditional love for a romantic partner/s, family members, friends etc.
I honestly believe you can love and care for people forever, (for example, we always want the best for a fellow human being as a general rule of thumb - and this is my idea of unconditional love) but for one reason or another, some aren’t meant to be a part of our lives forever, just there to teach us more about ourselves. Please feel free to elaborate 
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I realized after I posted that there would be several dimensions to this, outside of what i was thinking of originally. I might as well quickly address them.
One, a lot of people believe in God and God as the source of unconditional love, or maybe conditional perhaps, as there’s belief, repentance, idk. Not to stir up anything, just talking about myself here. I’ve related God/faith to faith coming from oneself often. Something I think about is the sentiment of that God has a plan and like trusting God to bring about His purposes through the suffering. Eventually I substituted that faith for faith in self, almost. Like even if there’s no larger plan being played out for you, you make it part of your plan for your life. The faith that you will endure. see: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e4WOexcmtvE
And two, self-love, maybe not described as “unconditional”, has a kind of need for self-forgiveness and self-compassion. And it has to last as long as you live.
And three, what I was thinking about is a continuation of my last post and this reply: I realized i lack emotional support . My ex thought that she doesn’t think an unconditional love is healthy, but also having a conditional love that could be lost at any time is just as bad. She had firstly had unconditional love when she was in love with me, then conditional love when she moved on but I fell in love with her, that manifesting when she saw me depressed and she would try to motivate me with her affection. I think it did take a toll on her, at least she says she stopped trying when she thought she failed, and later said it made her feel lethargic and guilty. She says she’s the worst person to go to for validation. And what can I say, she’s very solutions-focused, which I lack.
But she has her own issues with seeing things from other people’s point of view and dealing with emotions. I never gave up on her, and I want the best from her. But maybe we can’t actually help each other with somewhat opposite problems.
But I think she, like my mother, really do love and care about me and always want the best for me, without always knowing how to help. And now I only have eyes for my ex, and it seems like though my friends’ kindness, though they help, I can’t help but to want the most from her. But of course she can’t determine my worth or anything. After she fell out of love with me and I fell in love with her, I was less a person and more of a black hole of longing anyway.
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would like some more thoughts on this
I can understand where someone is coming from for saying that unconditional love is potentially unhealthy, in that love is blind and can make you do stupid things.
At the same time, I don’t think unconditional love, generally speaking, is a bad thing.
In relation to your 3 aspects that you brought up - I don’t believe in God so I won’t touch that one.
Self-love I absolutely think should be unconditional. Being someone who went from absolutely zero self love and progressing through a long journey of discovering myself and learning my own worth, I think having the ability to love yourself in spite of your own flaws and short comings is essential to living a happy and fulfilling life. I just can’t see a good life where I don’t love myself and I realize also that I am human and I will make mistakes throughout my life and thats ok, it doesn’t mean I should love myself any less.
And as for significant others - I am married. It will be 8 years in May. Prior to this, I only had 3 relationships.
I am so happy with my husband. I couldn’t imagine life without him. I couldn’t imagine not loving him unconditionally… because I feel like if you are going to marry someone, to vow to love them through sickness and health, to battle through the hard times together, to be there to support each other through the really hard stuff, and yes, including their mistakes, I think its only fair that there is mutual unconditional love. Realizing that we are all just people and none of us are perfect and there will be days where we are not at our best, and thats ok. Anything less just feels like you’re not trying hard enough. To me at least.
Now if someone is out murdering people or something like that, then obviously you should be level headed enough to realize that thats wrong and leave said person and not make excuses for them, but I think for the most part, as long as your significant other is a good person and so are you, you both deserve unconditional love.
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I went through this with my first high school summer relationship. She was the first person to see past what I was into who I was, and for that reason her voice was the only one that mattered to me. She loved me as a dear, valuable, real friend, so much so that she stood by to guide me though my confusion, hurt, and anger surrounding my feelings for her. What she told me, and what I ultimately found to be true, is I loved the idea of being in love with her. My love was not misplaced, I was just trying to mold it into what I thought love was (romantic). 15 years and a whole lifetime later, she’s still one of my closest friends, and I’ve realized that a full-on LTR with her would have been ridiculous. We love each other unconditionally–that is to say there is nothing one does that would make the other hate the first–but it’s platonic, and that’s proven more durable and valuable than romantic love would have been.
This is a good point. If love is only valid as long as everyone’s needs are being met, is it really love or just a romantic agreement?
I’m someone who tends to feel love way too strongly. To the point that I’ll sacrifice my own mental health for someone I care about. I had a person I cared about very strongly. However, they were in a different time zone and they would often go places with their family. I would WAIT for them every time they left. I would leave my phone on, and wait for them. I would stay up until they went to sleep.
To be honest I’d never felt that strongly for someone, so it was weird to me. But I don’t think it was healthy. I would have done anything for them. I would probably take a bullet for them if need be. If they had told me to hurt myself, I would. It was definitely unhealthy for me. Maybe more of an obsession than unconditional love.
Time went on and eventually, their parents found their account. They were openly a gay trans man on the app, and their parents were not accepting. So, their account got deleted. I cared about them so much that I spent the next 6 months feeling horrible about it. I had nightmares about them leaving. That maybe I did something wrong and they hated me, even if that wasn’t true. It took a long time to heal from because in my head, they were dead. I was so upset about it I sort of pulled a “romeo and juliet” and it pushed me to a suicide attempt which I landed in the hospital for.
I think it can be healthy to an extent, but when you sacrifice your own health just to let this person know how much you love them, and you care about them to the point where you don’t know who you are without them, it’s unhealthy and toxic.
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