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Isolating Myself

So I am pushing more and more to a path I’ve been on before. I just do not want to be bothered by anyone anymore. Well honestly, only person I do want more time with is my boyfriend. Outside of that, my best friend, sister, and kid are exhausting and driving me insane. Now I don’t know if it’s the July Blues I get (past two years in July I’ve been committed) or if I just really want to escape from them all. I was so disappointed last night (and still this morning I guess) that I couldn’t just get up and go to my boyfriend’s soccer tournament for the next two days.

I desperately want to spend more time with him, but I can’t because I always have my kids and I am always stressed by them. They are always bickering and screaming and I just want to get away. What sucks the worst is that I am out of work right now because of the cyber attack and I could be taking a break, but I have no money until next week and I don’t know exactly when work will start up again.

I just want to escape other people’s drama and being a mom for a while. I know it sounds awful, but I want time for me. I want to have a moment to do something I want to do. All I can do for now is isolate myself and even that isn’t happening.

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I’m a single dad so I can relate to what you have shared. I’m sorry about your job, I hope things get fixed and you’re able to start back up soon. I also hope things will work out where you and your boyfriend are able to spend more time together. But, I’d also encourage you to be thankful for all that you do have. As I’ve learned, things can change quickly and none of us can ever get any time back.

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Thank you and I am always grateful for what and who I have, I’m just over everyone else’s problems. I’ve been a listener and helper, but I feel like I’ve drained myself for everyone else and have forgotten about myself again.