So I am pushing more and more to a path I’ve been on before. I just do not want to be bothered by anyone anymore. Well honestly, only person I do want more time with is my boyfriend. Outside of that, my best friend, sister, and kid are exhausting and driving me insane. Now I don’t know if it’s the July Blues I get (past two years in July I’ve been committed) or if I just really want to escape from them all. I was so disappointed last night (and still this morning I guess) that I couldn’t just get up and go to my boyfriend’s soccer tournament for the next two days.
I desperately want to spend more time with him, but I can’t because I always have my kids and I am always stressed by them. They are always bickering and screaming and I just want to get away. What sucks the worst is that I am out of work right now because of the cyber attack and I could be taking a break, but I have no money until next week and I don’t know exactly when work will start up again.
I just want to escape other people’s drama and being a mom for a while. I know it sounds awful, but I want time for me. I want to have a moment to do something I want to do. All I can do for now is isolate myself and even that isn’t happening.