First of all, I switch in-between house every other week with my parents. One week at my moms, then another at my dads. This has been going on since I was 5, so I’m basically used to it now.
I love being at my dads house because I can tell he loves and cares for me. The same doesn’t go for my moms though.
As what I have been told now, my mom has a history of not taking care of her kids like others do. She’s very conservative but also is into herbs and other things.
But away from that for now. My main issue while staying at my moms house is my Little half-brother. He doesn’t even listen to my mom, or his dad, and usually misbehaves, but gets away with it.
So, I guess he thinks its funny to touch and grope my butt, and sometimes slaps my upper thigh. And like anyone else would, I tell him to stop, because it makes me extremely uncomfortable and in a way sad. But he doesn’t. And when I tell my mom she doesn’t even discipline him. She just tells him to not do it again. But if there is no consequences, he dose it again and again.
He has always messed with me, but the way he touch’s me crosses the line.
Him touching me has gone on for about a year now, Its not constant but it happens time to time. And usually shamelessly in front of my mom or his dad. Usually in the kitchen.
But today was different, I guess I just finally snapped. When he started touching me, I pushed him down with most of my strength onto the floor and just yelled why at him. This happened in the living room.
His dad saw he push him down and yelled at me to stop. I was just standing there in front of my half-brother, Still shocked from what I had done. I’m usually the type of person who thinks of 100 different scenarios before I say or do something but this was just instant.
The first thing my half-brother does after he hears his dad yelling at me is get up and run to the kitchen, which is where his parents where. My mom asks me what happened. I tell her he touched me again. She says nothing.
So I was just standing in-between the kitchen nd living room being yelled at by his dad because I pushed him.
I end up waking back to my room, and closing the door. And I just cry my eyes out.
I feel so hopeless in this situation. Its like I know that what he does to me is bad and it affects my mental health lots. But at the same time, somewhere in my brain I’m telling myself I’m overreacting.
I already don’t like being touched by certain people because of my OCD. Which my families know I have. But it just makes it so much worse when he touches me inappropriately.
Later I overhear my mom telling my him to go apologize to me, and to never touch me like that again. But he gets no punishments.
Its been around an hour since this happened and its still in my head and to be honest, I never want to see his face again. But still no apology. And something tells me this will happen again, like it usually does.
First things first, a very warm welcome to HeartSupport! I hope you find some comfort in the community and can offer your help and experience to others who need it. We love, care and value you!
It’s great to hear that you have a positive relationship with your Dad, but not so good that the relationship with your Mum isn’t the best. This cannot be good for your mental health, so it’s great that you can get an escape when the time comes to stay at your dads
Younger siblings always tend to be more badly behaved than the older ones. Take this from somebody who has two younger sisters. It’s wrong that when he misbehaves he gets away with it. Every bad behaviour should have consequences. It’s never okay for anyone, including family to touch you inappropriately - regardless of age.
If your parents aren’t addressing this situation, you have every right to contact authorities. You shouldn’t be feeling unsafe in your own home. You should write down every incident that happens in detail, including dates and times but also how your parents respond. Before you take it to authorities, try reaching out to a trusted adult or other family member who might be able to intervene on your behalf.
Welcome to HS, so glad to have you.
I’m so sorry that your step brother has been doing these actions that are inappropriate and uncomfortable.
Would it be possible to have a sit down with your mum and your step dad and have a talk about what is happening. You shouldn’t really have to defend yourself with this kind of situation, people shouldn’t be touching your body without your permission.
Have you spoken to your dad at all about this? Or even someone you trust. Not to cause turmoil or make things more difficult for yourself by any means, but even to have support and advice.
As I said it’s not okay for someone to touch your body without your consent, and so I do really empathise with you and to be honest would have reacted the same way.
Please know you can always come and share if you need
Hello Friend and welcome to HeartSupport
This is such a difficult situation for you, my heart goes out to you, you must feel like you are stuck between a rock and a hard place. It is not fair at all. No one should ever put their hands on you without your permission and your step brother is completely wrong in every way. I encourage you to either sit your Mum down and be very open with everything and say how you truly feel and that you want it changed or failing that go and talk to your Dad, I understand this could be a possible concern as you may not want to cause any problems but this needs to stop. You need to be heard one way or another. I truly hope things get better, please feel free to come back if you want to talk some more. MuchLove Lisa x
Hi Who_8,
Welcome to the heartsupport community. I am so sorry to hear that you are currently struggling with this. It sounds like you have a good relationship with your father, have you been able to loop him in on your half-brother’s behavior? Are you able to ask if you can stay with him if your half-brother’s behavior does not change? I hope your parents will be open to some kind of discussion, but if not, possibly a trusted teacher or counselor?
I am proud of you for standing up for yourself and dictating your boundaries. Do not ever be afraid to be your own advocate. It can be very hard, and you’re incredibly strong for being able to do so.
I’m sorry you’re in this situation and that your mother isn’t taking it seriously. Have you ever just sat down quietly with your mom and explained how him touching you makes you feel? It’s not ok for someone to touch you when you don’t want them to and HE needs to be taught that so it doesn’t keep happening with you or other people.
Since you know that your dad cares about you and loves you, perhaps you can talk to him? He might be able to do something about it for you depending on his relationship with your mother. I know that if my son had ever come to me with this problem when he was younger, I would have taken it seriously, so I bet your dad will too.
Next time he tries to touch you, scream at him NO and to stop. Do it every time, you don’t have to use violence (what you did was react in defense by pushing him down and that’s more of an instinct), but you can voice to him it’s not acceptable. Then of course let your mother know etc.
