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It All Went Well, but now I Am Pissed

So I took my driving test today and I passed. Good news, right?! Indeed it is! Well, that excitement was completely ruined by my parents about 2 hours later. So for anyone who has not seen the story before:

Asked my dad to put my newly purchased car in his name because I did not have a driver’s license of course (at the time I did not know that I could have the car in my name even without a driver’s license). We went through the changes, blah zeh blah, in May 2020. Then in July 2020, I had a hospitalization. My mom got pissed because I didn’t tell her about it first because she’s the “I said so…I told you not to…” kind of person. She did this when my sister called her on my behalf and my sister cussed her out for doing it. My sister’s actions were my fault apparently so she told my dad who also got pissed at me, and they took my car to a different state to party while I was in the hospital (psych ward). When they got back they went off on me telling me I was childish and lied on me in front of other people to make their actions seem valid.

At this point I wanted the car in my name after I did my research and they refused saying I was emotionally unstable and I needed to get my license first. Did I mention I was in the hospital because I went to get my meds adjusted at a 24 hour emergency clinic, and where I went they were more concerned with labeling me as an alcoholic (because I said I wanted to be done with drinking) and refused to release me? So my primary hospital took over my care, kept me for two night to help me with my meds, and released me. Yeah that’s all that was. Back to the parents, I just wanted to be done arguing with them so I told them once I got my license I wanted my car signed over because I didn’t like how they were treating me.

So the past couple months, I’ve been working hard to move away from my parents (they were my neighbors), gain my independence, and practice to pass the driving test. Well my dad gave me a really hard time taking me to practice maneuverability; took me once or twice since July and not even with cones. Scheduled to do things on his agenda every time I said I would like to take that day to practice. So today, yes, I passed on pure determination. Sick of them telling me to find a ride with someone else when it’s my car, sick of gassing the car for their expeditions, sick of them claiming it as their car.

So today they wanted to have another “talk” asking me if the car can be transferred after their insurance expires. I told them sure because I wanted to wait until I pay my rent. I asked them when does theirs expire and they told me like the first week of February. So I said that’s perfect. Now what was suspicious is I asked for a specific date and they couldn’t tell me because “they didn’t remember.” Now mind you I was sitting in there house for a solid 30-45 minutes, but they didn’t check while I was there. Once my dad got me home, I called my mom because I wanted to know the date so I could know when to start my coverage. She did not answer after three calls then called me back an hour later. When I asked, my mom did this surprised voice saying “oh I didn’t know the date was February 26th.”

Nope, not what I agreed to so I told them I don’t want to wait another month and they were like well when you need it you can take it and my dad chimes in and says “here and there and you cannot do any ‘wild shit’.” Mind you, this is the same man that came to pick me up, completely drunk, from work and was driving like a maniac, but I am the childish/immature one. When I said something about that, my mom turned the conversation around on me talking about how he shouldn’t be showing me I can do that and shit like that as if I am five and playing follow the leader. No, I am months away from thirty!

So I am sitting here with this text typed out (but not sent) in a group message with them. It basically states that I am not trying to be disrespectful, but I am not waiting another month to sign the car over. That I understood that they just wanted to finish out their insurance, but I agreed to two weeks, not five and I wish to be able to use my vehicle whenever I feel like it and if that means it has to be signed completely over before their insurance it complete then so be it. I feel Like they are stalling to give me my car and that they keep finding new reasons why they “can’t” sign it over yet. I feel like if I wait until February 26th then they will just find a new reason why they need more time. I’m just not the confrontational type, but I am not doing this again. I am not letting them push me to do their bidding anymore. I’m not asking anyone else for a ride and have to put gas in their car and my car for my parents. And if they start an argument with me and get me to a point of irritation, they’ll throw that “emotional unstable” shit at me again. I’m so sick of it. I couldn’t be happy for more than an hour around them.

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Wow that’s pretty awful. Here’s something you can hit them with: the insurance company ought to refund them the balance of their premium. I don’t know if that varies state by state, but I know if they paid in full they’ll get a prorated refund for the unused time. Offer that up and see what they say.

In any case, there is no way you should be putting gas in the car for them to drive. They drive, they put in gas. If you refuse to put in gas when they ask, what are they gonna do? What they won’t do is drive anywhere because they won’t be able to.

Is your name anywhere on the documentation for the car? If not, you may have no legal recourse and just need to rely on their honor to transfer the car to you. If you signed anywhere for it, if you have been making payments on it, you might be able to get the bank involved, I’m not sure. Hold onto whatever solid claim you have to the car and use it. If they don’t go for the insurance refund claim, play nice until February 26 (if you want to be that patient), then use whatever legal tools you have to get the car back from them.

That’s ridiculous. You have worked so hard for your independence, and not only are they actively hindering it, but they’re gaslighting you by implying that you’re not fit to be independent. Moreover, they’re taking advantage of you. It sounds to me like they don’t want you to succeed, that they like being better off than you. That is so insecure and selfish of them. I’m angry for you.

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What’s even more ridiculous is I am still irritated by it. I even reached out to my mom saying I do not want to wait until Feb. 26th and she said ok, but it’s not her I need to talk to; it’s my step dad (they keep pushing it off on one another). I haven’t told him yet because I mean they live together, but cannot pass the message? OK, whatever I will talk to him. So technically it is about to get resolved so why am I still so damn mad?! I feel like I need to pull out my anger management folder all over again.

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